Two hearts

 Hearts they break they fall they bump into each they fall in love. Hearts so delicate,and passionate.yet so Innocent,and pure in love for the first time.this time for reals.

 

Nothing gets in the way of these two beating hearts not even the butterflies.It's two daring hearts who make a scarface not to break,and fall again.

 

They make a promise together not to lose each other .Two crazy wild hearts that won't break no mater what.They'll keep beating until they truly die.

 

These two hearts will beat forever,and their love will never be lost.Two hearts truly in love forever what a beautiful revolution this will be.

-Ivonne Lizarrraga

   

Reviews

[Taylor H]

Fix your spacing after ever comma and period in these lines---

love. Hearts so delicate,and passionate.yet so Innocent,and pure in love for the first time.this time for reals.


even the butterflies.It's two daring hearts who make a scarface not to break,and fall again.


crazy wild hearts that won't break no mater what.They'll


These two hearts will beat forever,and their love will never be lost.Two hearts truly in love forever what a beautiful

[Guardian]

I like the idea and the emotion behind it. My only suggestion would be to restructure some of the wording and the stanzas. To me, the way it's put together on the page is very important and your arrangements seems very choppy. I think it distracts the reader from the emotion and the imagery you're trying to convey. I hope this was helpful.

[Wildecat]

A very beautiful and well written poem, thanks for sharing.