With Love

With Love

A Poem by babyblue

 

With Love
By Ivonne L.
 

Feed your head for just awhile. Just relax its being, it’s seeing; it’s soothing, and mellow. It is loving, and kindness. Cause with our love we can change the world. If they only knew the power of love.

 

Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world. We can light up the world with love, Cause with love we can change the world. If they all knew that love conquers evil in the end ,with all our love we can save the world.

 

After all love is more powerful than any weapon every made, cause in the end love will save us all. All we have to do is share that love  and spread it around. Since in the end the warm hearted will always succeed. So pass that love around.  

© 2009 babyblue


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I liked the message you were sending in this poem. The only thing I didnt like was that you used the word love over and over and over and over again...it got kind of annyoing. Try to substitute that word by changing some of your sentences or just changing the word in general...like...

"Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with love."--- Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with it.


in that sentece I just realized you used the word world twice. Try not to do that...

"Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with love."---Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can brighten others lives with it.

do you see what I mean?

powerful message and great poem. Good job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love the underlying message of this poem it took me back to the way Marvin Gaye envisioned the world and his hope for peace. It's not very often that you get a person let alone a writer that has such a vision of peace. This poem was beautiful thank you for the read request!!! My only suggestion is that like Taylor H said below me to try and use the word love less. Wonderful read no the less!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very nicely written. I emmensly(sp?) enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing :)

--Blood

Posted 9 Years Ago


wow.

this is amazing. thats all there is to say....

Posted 10 Years Ago


I agree with Taylor, by changing just a few things the message would be much clearer. With writing free verse its all subjective, and it is your work.
that being said you can do as you like, as can us all.
Repitition can be distracting, unless its a lyric, then it is easier to get the flow.
great read! Good job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I liked the message you were sending in this poem. The only thing I didnt like was that you used the word love over and over and over and over again...it got kind of annyoing. Try to substitute that word by changing some of your sentences or just changing the word in general...like...

"Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with love."--- Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with it.


in that sentece I just realized you used the word world twice. Try not to do that...

"Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can light up the world with love."---Try to realize it that love is stronger than anything else in this world, and we can brighten others lives with it.

do you see what I mean?

powerful message and great poem. Good job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This has a good message. :)
Go over it for typos. But other than that this is beautiful.
The message is clear, and very true, yet simple.
I like it. :D
Keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Simple but cute and true... I like this poem ^.^

Posted 10 Years Ago



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8 Reviews
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Added on August 6, 2009
Last Updated on December 29, 2009

Author

babyblue
babyblue

El paso, TX



About
Hey my names ivonne i'm 19 I wirte stores,and poems i go to college . I like scremo,punk,and classic rock bands such as bob marley bob dylan underoath,sliverstian,misfits,daed kenadys,the door,and t.. more..

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