Humble and Strong

Dedicated to my humble angle, Paul.

A lesser man had come to me,

 asking for my hand.

He boasted of his accomplishments,

they were quite grand.

He would buy me treasures,

 I could never resist.

He would give my children,

anything they wished.

 

When I cried at night,

he just walk away.

Unable to deal the emotions

 or even try and stay.

My children would ask

 for a simple game of ball.

He didn’t have time,

 he was quite busy after all.

 

You came along,

 such a humble man,

 yet strong.

Honest with your time,

admitting when wrong.

The children asked,

 of presents and clothes.

But, what you gave them

wasn’t any of those.

 

You spent your time,

 getting to know each of us.

Building a friendship

and gaining our trust.

When I cried,

you held and comforted me.

As gentle and loving

as any could possibly be.

 

A lesser of a man,

would've never took the time.

He would take me,

 claim me,

 like a trophy to shine.

You’re the greatest

and strongest

man of them all.

A humbled angel,

surley from heaven.

      .

        .

           .

               you did fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

They say, "Behind every good man is a great woman"... I must say...behind every woman with a pure soul is a trail of pain, hurt and then the remnants of each burden she slowly let go of dropping them one by one in order to grasp with both hands the things that really mattered.

Reviews

[sienikeha]

"behind every woman with a pure soul is a trail of pain, hurt and then the remnants of each burden she slowly let go of dropping them one by one in order to grasp with both hands the things that really mattered."

author's note - more apt than the piece in some ways! beauty.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

LOL...I hear that more often than not!
It's just how I speak I guess...;) Thank you.

[sienikeha]

:)

[icaros13]

Such a lovely sentiment. As a single father with full custody of my two young daughters, I know how difficult it can be to find someone who is willing to take on the "package deal". I can only hope one day I can find that special person who will not only accept me as I am, but be able to surmount the rigors of family life with grace as well...

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Pauls’ curse was the inability to have children, but the deep desire to be a father. Mine was my children’s fathers never wanted to father them...together WE are a complete family.

[A. V. Madison]

Wow... the raw undying love between you and Paul must be magnificent. I'm happy for you, Melody. I'm glad you found a better man. Congrats.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I must say, I let go and became a better me...and that was what drew him to me

[A. V. Madison]

That's always a goodthing, sweetheart. Take care.

Love From California,
~M

[Skye]

I love the very last line! I'm glad you found someone who cared for you.

[Rhea752]

beautiful. the song goes very well with the poem. i love the concept of the write!! Keep it up!!! :) :P :D

[Arun Paul Kapur]

Lovely and I feel almost like I am able to relate.

[BLBrown]

Very lovely and sentimental. I do love a great ending. A couple of nits:

1. Space after comma on 2nd line
2. Space after comma on 4th line
3. In 3rd stanza, consider changing "humbled," to "humble"
4. In last line, change "angle" to "angel"
5. In last line, consider changing "surley," to "softly" or the like
6. In last line, I would not reuse "humbled," consider "an amorous angel" or something like it
7. Overall, consider invoking syllable structure with all lines using the same number of syllables - helps smooth out the flow

[rivers]

Lovely sentiment and your song choice completes the beauty of your poem's thoughts about what is really important between people. Nicely done,

[Allie]

This reminds me of my husband. He is such a great man to raise a child of his own plus a child that isn't his. A true man takes care of his family in more ways then one. Great write.

[Legolas]

This is so sweet! I love it!
A couple notes...
1. Line 4 delete period after comma
2. Line 17 your tenses are confused. It should be either "A lesser man, would never take the time" or "A lesser man, never took the time"