The Big Move

This is not fiction, this story is a quick glimps into one moment of time in my life that changed me forever. Please enjoy

 

         I will be forever changed by the big move my children and I were forced to make seven years ago. I had been in an abusive relationship with my son’s father for four years. The time had come to do what I had to do to protect my children. I knew it was the right thing to do, just never though how much it would change me.  Some changes for the good and some of them for the bad. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

 

          Saturday was almost here and I had started pricing everything I owned for the yard sale that would take place on a secluded corner of a dirt road, unseen by the public. Seattle was known for its rainy weather, but oh no, not today. Today was the third day of 90 degree weather. I sat watching my three small children as they played, carefree in the cheap little roll out pool I had picked up for five dollars at the local Family Dollar. There blond hair and blue eyes seemed to intensify with their newly acquired tans. I paused for a moment, closed my eyes and inhaled slowly and deeply. As I exhaled I accepted the task at hand and began one by one labeling each precious item I’ve ever owned for a mere fraction of its worth, hoping for quick sales and buyers word of mouth advertising of the bargain.

 

          The plan was simple, take the kids out of school and place them in home school. Move to a shelter and sell everything I owned. Then trade cars with a close friend, wait ten days to transfer titles, pack the kids up and drive away from everything my children and I knew and loved in order to escape the ill fate that had been imposed on my family by their own father. Years of abuse had now trickled its way to my children. As a virus left unattended, due to adapting to the personal ailments it caused. Funny how much we’ll endure or ignore until it happens to our children. Then a rage and strength we never knew we had wells up inside us like the deadliest wave the ocean could conjure up. And then we move with full force in order to protect our children.

 

          Soon the cool breeze that came with dusk, letting me know that I had done all I could. Understanding, that everything that could not be sold would be left behind. I would have nothing to show for the loss or for my children’s tears as I explain to them that we can’t take it with us. For a moment I almost lost control of my emotions as my four year old daughter tries so hard to frantically stuff items into a plastic bag to the point it breaks. She collapsed to the ground sobbing, as if weakened by the overwhelming sadness. Her tears stream down her dirt smudged cheeks, creating little trails of sorrow exposing her sun burned face. As I composed myself, I wiped my eyes and straightened my back, tilted my chin up as to show my children some sign of confidence or reason they should think it’s going to be ok.

 

          After our last dinner shared with friends and family, I quietly walked out into the cool of the night. Looking over the car and all its contents I made sure I didn’t miss a small crevice of space where I could be able to fit one more item. I leaned against the car and searched my soul to find the strength within me to take this journey. Tired and understanding I was the only one that knew we would be driving all night to Denver, Colorado. In order to keep my friends and family safe I had informed them we were leaving to Los Angeles. My plan was to leave behind everyone, never again to see them. Of course in a year I would let my closest relatives know my true residents, but had to wait until I changed my name. “OK”, I said out loud to myself as I slapped my hands down on the hood as if I just finished a pep talk  to a team only seven points from winning and used the last time out to do it.

 

          My father and I one by one carried each child out to the car. Carefully, placing them one by one in the car as not to wake them. Then giving each one a kiss and a hug as if leaving a Christmas dinner and planned on seeing them tomorrow. During the long pep talk from my dad regarding knowing when to stop and rest, I was thinking, I don’t know how to live without them. As the thought of backing out tempts my mind I lean and start the car. “I love you guys; I’ll call you all the way there”. We pass waves and good byes back and forth until turning the corner off the old dirt road.

 

          Nine years have passed since that day, still looking over my shoulder in fear with a lack of confidence in what a simple name change could really help. Forever changed in so many ways as if each mile I drove that night slowly in caved me in a hard cocoon, protecting the “real me” safely away. I’ve hidden behind a fake confidence as well as trying to numb the pain with years of drugs. With no avail, only the reality of what that life has diminished of my children’s childhood to. June twenty-third two-thousand and twelve, will be a day to reckon and celebrate as it will be two years of a drug free life, years of change and hope. Showing my children no matter what knocks you down there is strength left inside to build with and you will come out stronger. I am wiser now and also, humbled by the sheer resilience and forgiveness of a child, as well as the strength of forgiveness they pass on to a mother that needs them so much more than they may ever need me.

 

         

 

         

 

Author's Note

Hope is always found were there is a breath...

A new beginning is only one choice away...

Reviews

[BLBrown]

Such an engaging story. You must be such a brave person to take the steps to protect both yourself and your children. It is clear that you took the lesser risk of leaving, as opposed to the greater risk of staying.

Now about the technical matters, first I would do a thorough cleaning up on grammar or ask someone to proof read it for you. These issues distract the reader from the story. Also, I would enhance the story a bit and talk about your new life to the extent that you can. Also, it would be nice to hear about how you are able to communicate with your beloved parents.

Again, a really engaging story. Just looking for more! Congrats!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I will work on all you have suggested (on this as well as other work), I work full time (nights)at the hospital, so time is limited.

[EMF]

Many people will want to comment on the reality basis of this story and ignore commenting upon your skill in crafting it. Sorry, but that's not going to help in the long run. How does it stand up as a story? It is a terrificly good and intense work. It has both power and strength. Yeah... there's a couple of typo's here and there. Maybe the difference between English and American English. But it is a cracking read.
Where it could be better is simple. You are a gifted poet. That is obvious from reading your poetry. A little poetic use of language here and there could take this from terrific to great. Simple as that I'm afraid.
From word go you contact with the readers emotions, but with a little further crafting there is so much more that one with your skills could do.

I'm aware of how personal a story this is, and how difficult it may have been to write, Yet if you can consider it as a work to develop, you could do so much more.

I do not seek to negate your problems, nor ignore them, and at the end of the day my opinion is only an opinion. Does not mean I am write, or wrong. Just that I have a big mouth

Cracking job

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I am grateful for your opinion! I am always looking to improve my work as this allows for the readers to have a full experience as to what I am saying…any suggestions?
I will take the time to re-read as well as re-right.

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

After reading it I am full of emotions and respect for you, people often are weak and can't handle the burden and stress, but after reading this short story of yours I feel like commenting on a story of superlady. I think other people should read it (specially the female readers) and should get inspired, and this story is also a punch on the face of all those who think women are weak. I respect ladies, and I respect you. GOD bless you!! be blessed and stay healthy and GOD bless your family

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I am humbled by your kind word. Superlady...not by a long shot. Just a woman who has what every woman does(Courage)...I just choose to use it. Again Thank you.

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

Always a pleasure :) I wish you all the best in future.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i applaud you for actually getting out of an abusive relationship. too many people stay to the detriment of everyone involved. congratulations and best of luck in your continued growth.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for your kind words. I am but one that has traveled this road of change. My hope is that is one more often traveled, for at the end is one’s true self and that is a beautiful thing indeed.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Melody, I bow for you, not only for who you're but also for what you became. A wiser and gifted soul, full with strenght. I must say, many could learn from you.
Thanks so much for opening your heart, and give us your sparkles of positivity.

Love to you,

E.L.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you! You are always so kind to me and I am humbled of your thoughts regarding me. I am just me finally able to find who that is. A journey of finding that, was truly the gift, learning from my children as I go was the true and unbelievable blessing! As always thank you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That is an inspiring story... thank you for sharing this... if only it could be published in a woman's journal so that others can see that it can be done. You have great courage and you did the right thing in the end for you and those children.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you! I am grateful for your suggestion. You are too kind