When you're gone (Tanka #4)

Tanka #4 Let me know what you think!

                               

When you're gone 

My heart is broken down 

Broken to a million pieces 

Smashed on the ground 

When you're gone.... you're gone 

I miss you're face so much

Reviews

[Krista Weiss]

Wow! Absolutely amazing! Feeling the same way right now!

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
There is a term called, "When the heart is broken," but is it ? A broken heart by definition means that is irreparably damaged. Unable to be repaired. Not plaster nor glue can make amends to it.

And - at this point in my life, I have to agree. Yes, yes a heart can be broken, and no, it never does heal - not entirely back the way it was, not originally. Life changes us. Love - changes us. And when that love, that consistent reminder that we are not the only person in the universe - is gone.

It does hurt. We do break down inside, and the mind wanders down shadowed corridors, long ignored before then, but now they speak to us in harsh and critical whispers - and lonely even for the madness - we find ourselves listening to these words of self-destruction.

Love does hurt - but if it didn't, it wouldn't be worth the experience. :)

[Akashi]

Very sad, excellent work.

[MandaBear]

Thank you so much!

[Akashi]

You are most certainly welcome.

[RainDancer1997]

Lot's of emotion throughout this piece. It's sweet and sad and so any other things:) Great job!

[Keith LaFountaine]

Good work, lots of emotion. Only thing I noticed: 'your' should be 'you're'.

[Rabbi Tzephanyah Ben Yo..]

Beautiful and Sad, a heartfelt write.

[MandaBear]

Thank you so much

[Lily Mae]

Very heartfelt and well done Amanda..xo

[MandaBear]

Thank you so much