If You...

If You...

A Poem by Saumya

If you  want to be something,
be like a TREE,
which is always.....
GIVING

If you want to be something,
be like a FLOWER,
which is always........
SMILING

If you want to be something,
be like a FOUNTAIN,
which is always...........CONSISTENTLY TOILING

If you want to be something,
be like a COOL BREEZE
which is always..........PLEASING and SOOTHING

If you want to be something,
be like a great FABLE
which is always..........INTERESTING

If you want to be something,
be like a S
TAR
which is always..............SHINING


If you want to be something,
be like SKY
which is always.............WITHOUT ENDING

If you want to be something,
be like an ANGEL from God
which is always..............FORGIVING, LOVING, and BLESSING

But yes, my friends,
if you want to be one of these,
which i had been mentioning......

you first need, to be a good
human being...
who is really essential, to
make the atmosphere
around........
serene

so make your world,
something really amazing,
by .......supplying it with great meanings.
from your surroundings.

and be the change,
you and your heart,
had always been ...dreaming..!!

© 2013 Saumya


Author's Note

Saumya
thanks a lot for reading...!!
i will be rally grateful, if you review and rate it..!!
regards
saumya

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Featured Review

Again your faith shines through. The analogies (I think I've chosen the right word) are precise and instantly visual -- all symbols available to everyone and thus easy to mimic the benign influences. Your use of colored text keeps the reader's eye interested. Your gentle spirituality should be bottled and distributed worldwide. The last stanzas sweep the reader up into the thrilling realization that the answer is to change, to be part of the change. Inspirational for any religion and inspirational for a free spirit.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

WOW. Really meaningful and uplifting. I enjoyed it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Nice and pleasant word. I really appreciate this. the repetition and the arrangement of the stanzas.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very nice and beautiful words. Up beat and encouraging.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I've noticed that the name of the game for a lot of poetry on here is free verse, so it's very interesting to see a unique structure like this show up. You're very architectural in your design; the physical layout does a lot more here than in a lot of other works to help achieve the goal, both through stanza arrangement as well as colour to draw the eye. I would encourage you to keep this up and experiment with it; just because they're words doesn't mean that some artistic flare can't be included.

If there's one thing I can suggest, and this might be nitpicking a bit, it's using the word 'toiling' when describing the fountain. The word toiling tends to have a negative connotation to it that isn't quite in sync with the uplifting words used in all the other stanzas. Maybe something along the lines of 'tranquil' or 'peaceful' may seem more fitting. Other than that though, this is another very enjoyable read.

Keep up the good work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


A pleasant stroll, Saumya. How would this read if you lived in the polar regions?

Posted 10 Years Ago


you have such a positive outlook to life and it shines through in your poetry. it is refreshing

Posted 10 Years Ago


that's the key. Be a decent human being first and then all the other stuff will fall into place.

Posted 10 Years Ago


To be human is to rise above and take part of who you are in this world. Living, caring and loving. For what shines in you can be seen from the heart but when you glow you transcend. You become a conduit of positive vibes all around you! :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Your such a talented writer!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


⊰ℛℛ⊱
I would add one to this. If you want to be something, be like a CAT, always friendly, receptive, and loving. Of course, that could be a little biased, especially for dog lovers. :)


Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on June 17, 2013
Last Updated on June 17, 2013

Author

Saumya
Saumya

India



About
Hi all:) this is me....Saumya well, i don't have much to tell you all about me.. but yes to start with, I love writing & painting.(you can find some of my paintings in the "my photos" section of.. more..

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A Poem by Saumya



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