What my life has come to.

pretty deep into my past relationship that is weighing me down

When death says, “I love you but I must let you go”

When life says, “i want you, I must have you, don’t go”

When love says, “I’ll be waiting right here till the end”

When hate says,” I miss my loyal friend”

When death won’t take you and life won’t leave you

And you feel all hate and no love

When it sucks to wake up and take the first conscious breath

When your conscience meets its match and sways too much for comfort

When you think all is forgiven too soon

When you think you are stable and finally complete

When you start to think you have everything you will ever need

When love slaps you in the face

When love holds you down for another rape

When love spits on your attempts to truly live

When death points its finger and starts to laugh

When your alter ego is too ashamed to stick around

When you cry so much yet no one hears a sound

When you shake in your boots so angry and scared

When you start to realize that even if people cared

You would still be you when you are the problem

When you start to realize running away isn’t an option

When you face the facts, truth and, lies

Then you realize this isn’t as easy as pie

You realize you are in over your head

 And you start to shirk back again

Old patterns reform and life unfortunately resumes

For another dreadful day waits for you

When you give up on change and living for enjoyment

You reach calm unlike any other

A painful calm

A slowly killing dull ache in your heart remains but it ok

Because you are calm

And you realize this is all you need

So you fake a smile and push ahead

And try to give up the hope that tomorrow won’t be full of dread

This is my life and if it is yours take comfort in that I understand.

Author's Note

one of my rants i guess

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[Taste of Insanity]

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