Here I Go

for a contest

My feet were firmly planted, but they ached so badly to take that step.

That one step to bring me back to you.

But I can't, all the people that need me here, on earth, with them, but I need you.

So where do I go?

Take the step.

The angel says, he's dressed in the color of snow.

He looks like you, you know.

Don't move, and turn back.

Says the devil.

She's dressed in red and black.

Look's like me.

I look down at my

sneakers, planted firmly on the grass.

So here it goes, listen to the snow.

And go.

I close my eyes, screw up my nose,

bend my legs,

and jump.

Over the cliff and to the rocks below.

I love you, you know.

Author's Note

reviews!

Reviews

[Manda]

I adore this. You're comparisons between an angel and the devil, you and your lover, it was so wonderfully opposite and powerful. Adjectives like "snow" "screw up my nose" you know this person, you know this feeling, and you conveyed with emotion, simile, and imagery. This is what poetry is. Great Job :)

[Tegon Maus]

You either don't have a tv or you only sleep 2 hours a night ! You write more than any tow people I know. This one is good... the good / the bad. You're not bad just learing who you are.

[Daring Darling Didi]

The comparing and contrasting of the boy and the girl, the angel and the devil, white and black...the foils really bring out the differences between right and wrong and the choice she - or you- have to make. I really like this style of writing as well, and the rhyming is quite skillful. Overall a tense yet captivating poem.

[VannahBanana]

This makes me think... It's quick. Rhytmic. Concise.
I think I'm beginning to like your style in writing.
The way you explain the words through this, without a lot of cheesy rhyming, but enough to give a beat. It's wonderful.
If I have anything to say to critique it, it would be possibly make the first line quicker, yet saying the same thing.
Like: my feet planted, though aching to take that step.
And maybe the same thing with the third line,
Otherwise, it really is a great poem.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this Sophie.

[SuicidePact.]

:O this is pretty amazing

[jennifer little]

great jon keep up the good work and nice write thanks for sharing this write

[Archia]

The last line was just so simple and that was what gave it so much impact. I loved the idea of the angel and devil and how it was him and her. I really enjoyed this poem.