Sabra Jane

Contest: One Of A Kind

Who are you, Sabra Jane?

What darkness lurks in you?

I've seen the way you break hearts

Left them beating unrythmically

Tinged the coldest shade of blue.

 

It's probably your smile that hooks them

Dazzling pearls that would stun any man

Drawing them, the unsuspecting victim

Into your mystifying presence,

Into your beautiful dangerous hands.

 

None of those poor souls realize

They don't have the slightest chance.

You're a temptress in a black dress,

A goddess Heaven sent.

A man is doomed after one glance.

 

And one whiff of your lovely smell

Is enough to ensure and seal their fate.

The air around you smells of cala lily,

Of moonlight and raspberries.

There's nothing they can do to escape.

 

You're an angel and a devil.

His world shatters with your kiss!

He knows nothing more than you,

Now he's your willing slave.

Your kiss of death is his eternal bliss.

 

When you've had your fun and toss him aside,

His heart does more then just break...

It shatters, it crumbles, it explodes!

Into tiny, unfixable, bleeding pieces,

As he finds out your love was fake.

 

You're a piece of work Sabra Jane.

You don't deserve to be in love.

The world would be better off

If you remained a fantasy...

Be something men only dream of.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Sabra, as evil as she's portrayed, is one of my favorite names. It means "patient, enduring" and not evil. I just wanted to be creative.

Reviews

[Sar Jayne]

like like like. brilliant because it does not have an era. timeless and yet it has a specific rhyme and meter.

[Owl]

Well, I'm certainly enticed.

This is really fantastic. I love the tone of it, it's so sassy, so flirty, yet serious too.

It's a poem with a bad attitude and you know what you're doing. It's rather playful, actually.

Heh, I actually really, really like this.

Caught me by surprise.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem!

[Alexander Z. Anthony]

"A goddess Heaven sent."

I'm not sure why, but this line took the cake for me. (Why it ever wanted my cake, or why it stole it I fear I will never know.)
Very nice poem. And the name is awesome. It does not give away a certain period it would be used in, it is not modern, nor is it medieval, nor colonial etc. It cannot be placed, as I imagine, it's bearer cannot either.
The beauty within a good name is often neglected, I am glad to say it was not here! =D
Kudos!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This is my new favorite of your poems. it speaks truth ans does so in so vividly descriptive a way that I see it all before me. Aside from one teensy thing I found it to be flawless. In the line ...

"Drawing them, the unsuspecting victim
Into your mystifying presence,
Into your beautiful dangerous hands."

... if she draws "them" then shouldn't the last word be "victims" plural instead of "victim"? I probably only noticed this because it stood out against the backdrop of what was otherwise a flawless write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I have been the victim of someone just like you describe to a tee... very well written and creative... the name thing is very cool...

You're an angel and a devil.
His world shatters with your kiss!
He knows nothing more than you,
Now he's your willing slave.
Your kiss of death is his eternal bliss.

this is my favorite part for yes the kiss is the key to keeping the victim in check.

[Akina]

this is really beautiful and very creative!
wonderful job.

Akina

[An owl on the moon]

Beautiful, brilliant piece, with a character so full and deep! I just longed for more, with such an intriguing person, dark and light, drawing, fierce. Simply amazing write!

[Anastasia Starlena]

Wow this is an amazing piece. I loved the way it flowed as you painted a picture. Quite the little vixen that Sabra Jane. I love the name it is really cool. Excellent piece.