"C - The Boughs"

I wrote this for school last year, and my teacher said it was more like an actual Shakespearean sonnet than any of the others written by his students. Enjoy <3

Betwixt the boughs I'll sit,

Waiting for that sweet kiss

Love to me won't commit,

For not have I felt bliss.

These leaves still fall year 'round,

Though none to me do blow.

My love hast run aground

And left me quite hollow.

Very short was my time in lover's light,

But it left - such a crime -

Abandoned my delight.

For to love I am such

That can't be deemed to touch.

Reviews

[David Sypiac]

Your teacher is correct. The only issue I have is the formatting! Impact is a font that clashes really badly with white background and makes things hard to read.

On the other hand, I love the eloquent expression of ideas and approach to symbolism. It's a tough call for me! For substance alone, I'm giving it an 85/100