Sweet Dreams

I go to bed,

with you, on my mind.

and i dream ,dream of,

what could have been mine.

sweet,sweet dreams,

i have of you!

but sweet dreams

is all i have of you.

sweet,sweet love

brought to my heart

from above

then put,to a poets pen

to fill my heart

with love,yet once again...

Reviews

[Christian Bonoan]

i love this poem! the flow and the tone of the poem is refreshing!

[wordman]

thank you for the visit !

[Jade]

this could easily be done as a song. I hear a sweet melody in your words.

[wordman]

thank you for the review,a top ten i hope

[redzone]

poem and music are indeed dreamy... I enjoyed reading and listening... see a romantic poet you are Ron..

redzone

[wordman]

thank you very much !

[EvaThornburn]

So sweet a write, makes one smile when we love is shared. Great write. Thanks, for sharing. Eva

[wordman]

thank you eva

[B.J]

Each line is written with romance and flows beautifully. Filling your heart with love from above. Beautiful.

[wordman]

good to see you ! thank you for the visit

[B.J]

I have been ill for some months and just getting back to sorting out some writing and looking around. Your work is still great

[wordman]

hope you are feeling better,we missed you

[B.J]

I am well now and even better after next week taking a holiday, a well earned holiday. Depends if I am in range that I will be able to post. Heading to a deserted coastline of South Australia for a weeks R@R

[wordman]

good for you !

[B.J]

:)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I am so relaxed knowing my holiday is so near. I went down the street for breakfast. Something I don't usually do.

[Karmee]

Loved the last stanza, This is a wonderful write,
enjoyed your words and feelings.

[wordman]

thank you for the review

[Stanley R. Teater]

I like this poem very much. And using Sweet Dreams as musical accompaniment was a master stroke. I have always loved that song and it blends perfectly with your words.

[wordman]

thank you for reading stanley.

[William Liston]

I could certainly relate to the emotions expressed in this piece, especially the lines "but sweet dreams / is all I have of you." I like the visual presentation of this poem. You've chosen a great picture and font. Also, the flow of this poem was impressive, and for the most part, the rhymes felt natural. Although the imagery isn't vivid (that's certainly not a bad thing in this case), you've described the situation in just enough detail to evoke emotion, without being too plain or simplistic.

If I may critique, I must say that there are some typos (I think) and some things that could help improve the visual presentation. First of all, there are some uncapitalized i's in this poem (you can find them). Also, I'd advise you to use commas like you did in the second line of the first stanza: Have no space between the last letter of the first word and the comma, then space. For example:

and I dream ,dream of ------> and I dream, dream of
sweet,sweet dreams -------> sweet, sweet dreams

Along with that, I think the word "once" in the last line is unnecessary.

Other than that, I think this is an overall good piece. Thank you for sharing it.

- William Liston

[wordman]

thank you william !

[Lola_Bee]

this is sweet, soft and gently inviting. loved this

[wordman]

thank you for the visit !

[Alice Poésy]

Beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. The pain and longing are portrayed accurately in such few words - and indeed, sometimes it's only the act of writing that could make it bearable, if only for a while.

[wordman]

thank you alice for the visit