jphillips

jphillips

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Sacramento, CA
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Writing.


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Posted 11 Years Ago


Sorry I'm only just getting back to you on your reviews... been busy. I'll be commenting on each of the pieces you've read. This message concerns the piece entitled 10.06.09.

I'll start by saying that I've taken your suggestion to title my pieces to heart and will start to do so from now on. In fact, I want to title this particular piece after the first words in your review, "A Beautiful Love Letter of a Tragic Sort." Those words were just too appropriate for the piece for me to ignore them. I hope you're cool with me using them....

I feel the same way about the second paragraph and am actually in the process of re-writing it. From the beginning I felt that it was too concrete in its descriptions and took away from the mood of the piece created by the first paragraph. I'm curious as to how you will feel about the re-write, which I think is coming together well, but we'll see....

As far as the third paragraph goes... (lol!) I guess the confusion you describe is a good thing, since what I am trying to convey with this piece are the contradictory emotions one experiences after a break-up. So while I am sorry for certain things I mention, I am also not sorry for some of the others, and also attempting to point out what I felt is wrong with her as an individual and even with myself (though I'm probably attacking her more... maybe that will change too eventually).