The Releasing Of My Life

A story of A baby Being Born

The Releasing Of My Life 

Engulfed in water, total darkness A constriction around my throat

lack of breathing, noises beeping and then a silent tone

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

The Mum

A regular day like any other two weeks overdue 

back is aching feet are hurting to name just a few  

Husband sitting quietly when I feel a strain

water gushing out of me now here comes the pain

I felt a few contractions earlier but they soon did pass

and after so many false alarms my pain I did well to mask

The Dad

I sit here reading about being a father 

while this phantom I must possess

back is also aching and I’m dealing with her stress

when out of nowhere a shriek. . . my water has broken! 

That unfamiliar line

no false alarm its coming its actually happening this time

The Doctor

10pm my phone rings the babies time has come

turning off my TV my mind no longer numb 

Meeting at the hospital this baby overdue

rushing to my car hoping traffic is ok as I cant afford to queue

The mother, father and doctor present  

and the machine emits this tone

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep !

I’m laying here cold a cord around my throat 

the happiness of earlier ended by that note

fear now does arise a purple I have turned

but this doctor keeps on fighting practicing all that he has learned

The parents stare in silence the man looks to his wife

the doctor frees the babies throat with precision of his knife

Then my first moments I scream as I can breathe my parents hug the doctor before he takes his leave

I’m looked down upon while my parents touch my head

I’m their little miracle who they believed was dead

I reach out to daddy’s finger I can’t really see

but I hear them as they turn to another and say we call you Ashley  

Author's Note

Something a little different I hope you all like please give honest reviews

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

Very well researched or from actual observation of a birth i wonder? Either way it is written with confidence from a very unique angle (as yourself as a baby)... i like it particularly because it *is* different and well thought through! The tension really builds throughout this piece... and it's a surprise and a relief to get to the last 3 lines!

[~~Mere~d~i~t--h~~]

This is very original. I really love it

[trainwreck]

Suspenseful, as coyote said. It was, in my opinion, better than a lot of your writing. Great job!

[Shardbearer99]

That was rather suspenseful reading. You did a really good job at capturing the moment of two parents both desperate to hear that their child has been brought safely in to the world through poetry. It was emotional, warming and above all a lovely poem. Thank you for sharing

[Margaret Marie Hubbard]

I was getting a little worried there for the babe! Just a "tiny" note- (I’m there little miracle)- I'm their- I feel bad pointing at it but you asked for honest. ;)

[Jenny Nelson]

Too close to home. My 11 year old was born with the cord wrapped 4 times around his neck, not breathing or moving and purple. Everyone thought he was stillborn but the doc didn't give up and tried hard to get him breathing. He started screaming in about a minute and a half and hasn't stopped since. Lovely description of the birth experience.

[Ruth]

It is different but its excellent! This process is captured so well here, the different accounts, emotions are used well :) You have taken all sides and fused together a wonderful story, one that is unique and beautiful xx

[Labtoad]

I LOVED this...the concept is great and the point of view is so unique. I agree, less emotion but when considering the point of view it fits so well. Very very nice!

[♥Kaitlyn♥]

awww thats really good! i love it

[northern monkey]

Great concept, original thinking. courageous, very well written. Not as emotional as your usual work, but any parent you meet would say that you have to go through it to understand!? Is it just me or is the shape of your work like carved chess pieces (or bongs)?