I Thought I Was Dark

A poem with competitive darkness

I thought I was Dark

Being there is all I wished 

I just wanted to care

holding on to your every word 

wishing I was there

planting seeds of envy 

breaking lovers trust

embracing my last breath 

your clearly not fussed 

I thought I was dark 

heartless and depressed

patience and overwhelming anger

amongst emotions that you test

why do you keep me lingering?

awaiting to be crushed 

Should I give up already 

although my heart you have touched

I thought I was dark 

but compared to you I’m grey

knowing you’re the puppet master

I’m your puppet I must obey 

never hearing your voice 

a distance between us grows

your so much darker than me dear

And it defiantly shows

I care about your point of view

any issues that may arise

you care about yourself 

or many other guys

I’m left here heart in hands

not cared for to say the least

I may as well make an impact

better off deceased 

so once again I’m driven to my final stand

Iodine at the ready 

knife in my free hand 

Is this what is needed 

For the attention that I crave

think you know anything about me

I’m not just another slave

I have feelings as well you know

I also feel pain 

you continue to be darker than me

I will end this childish game

sorry to everyone that cares

I doubt by her I will be missed

Signing out of this life 

but being there is all I wished

Author's Note

Please Give Honest Reviews As always

Reviews

[northern monkey]

Breathtaking emotional eloquence. Tiny quibble about half-way through - would it read better as "And it definitely shows"?

[Magdelena]

read it over and over again.. What does that say?? Bravo! Loving it all the way..

Mags xx

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

A interesting and sensitive piece relating to the pain and turmoil within. When all you have to turn to is the dark or a knife in your darkest moments. A piece that many could relate to at their worst moments. Intelligently written. Though you do overuse the use of 'I'.

[Karina Longo]

Bravo! "I thought I was dark
but compared to you I’m grey" -- It took my breath away, honestly. Your pieces burst out emotions! It's electrifying. Outstanding.

[Stef Outsiders]

I love the title 'I thought I was dark' and then I read on, I'm amazed!
I felt the emotion, and the way you describe yourself as grey and felt like a puppet... great piece!

[Margaret Marie Hubbard]

Being told you crave attention because of how you attempt to relieve the pressure of being without control....heart wrenching. Proving to oneself you are stronger than you ever thought you were....liberating!

[Midday_Mystery]

this poem is a good write, but honestly not one of your best... Your tempo gets inconsitant in places.. Thats about the only thing I can see the content is wonderful however and you have pieced it well, you might try simplifyin some of your longer line to meter it better...

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

I have literally read this about twenty times. Amazing. Need I say more?

[Cherrie Palmer]

Perspective and time can reevaluate most things

[Frankie Nguyen]

wonderful (: