Chapter 9

   "So what's up with your mom?"
   The lunchroom is loud, but I can hear her perfectly fine. She's eating the lunch food from her tray with a disgusted look on her face while I pick at mine. I'm not hungry.
   "You mean Theresa."
   "She is your mom isn't she?"
   "In the biological term, yes. I only call her mom so she doesn't get pissed."
   She swallows and sets down her fork. "How long did you live with her?"
   I scoop up some peas and then turn over my fork to watch them fall back down onto the tray. "I've been with my adoptive family since I was ten. That's when CPS finally decided it was unsafe for me to live with her."
   "What does she do that makes it unsafe for you to live with her?"
   I shake my head with a smirk and lean back in my chair. "Men," I reply as I look up at her.
   "What?"
   "She's an escort," I rephrase. "Gotta make money for drugs."
   "Isn't she married?"
   "Issac doesn't care. He was never around anyways."
   "That's awful." She looks grossed out.
   "You didn't have to be around for most of it." I shake my head. "She still acts like I'm her little boy."
   "You're probably all she has of what she wants her life to be like."
   I furrow my eyebrows. "What?"
   "I've done research on stuff like this. She hates her life but it's all she thinks she deserves. She doesn't think she deserves you, but she still tries desperately to hold onto you just so she knows that she's better than what she makes herself."
   I look down at my food.
   "Sorry, that wasn't really...I shouldn't have said anything."
   I laugh and look up at her again. "It's hard to say anything that gets an emotional response out of me, so don't worry about it."
   She doesn't look like she buys it. She goes back to eating.
   "So what was the last straw?"
   "For what?"
   "You know, the last straw that got you put into court where you got put into here."
   "I already told you-"
   "Yeah," she interrupted, "one too many laws broken, blah blah blah. Come on, you have to give me more than that."
   I clear my throat. "You already know why."
   Charlotte stops chewing. "Was it your sisters wedding?"
   I nod.
   "What happened anyways?"
   I chip off some of the plastic that is stuck to the wooden table. "I don't want to talk about it."
   "You never want to talk about anything. How are you supposed to let people in?"
   "That's the point."
   "Oh, so, you don't like having relationships with people?"
   "Bingo."
   "Why not?"
   I look up at her. "You ask a lot of questions."
   She raises her eyebrows. "Why not?"
   "I don't like emotional attachments. I don't like having a weak spot, or something to have to say goodbye to."
   "To say goodbye to?" She snickers. "Jude, you're not going to have to say goodbye to anybody or anything for a while. You've got a ways to go, you really want to be alone the whole time?"
   I gulp back a lump in my throat. "Who knows, I could get hit by a car one bright and sunny morning."
   "There's not even a 50 50 chance of that happening. Come on Jude, don't you know statistics?"
   "Not like you Stanford girl, no."
   Charlotte shrugs. "What do you want to do with your life anyways? What are you going to do once you get out of here?"
   I lick my lips. "You know Charlotte, I just really don't know."
   "Come on," she presses again. She puts a forkful of peas in her mouth. "Are you going to go back to school? Move to a halfway house? Meet a girl?" She raises her eyebrow at that.
   "Like I said, I don't know. Besides, meeting a girl just isn't possible for me."
   "Why not?"
   I look up at her and meet her eyes. "I don't like emotional attachments remember?"
   She leans forward and narrows her eyes. "So you're telling me, that if you meet a girl and fall in love with her, you would just walk away and not even try?"
   I smile and nod. "Pretty much."
   Charlotte shakes her head and leans back in her chair. "Lame. You're lame."
   I hear the sound of aluminum against floor and turn my head to see Alec sit down. "Hey Jude." He's looking at Charlotte.
   "Hey Alec."
   "Who's this?" Charlotte asks.
   "Oh, I'm his friend." Alec winks.
   Charlotte raises an eyebrow. "Friends huh?"
   I roll my eyes. "We've known each other for two days, I wouldn't exactly put it on that level yet."
   "Oh come on man, we're super tight." He winks at Charlotte again. "Super tight."
   "Hey, since we're super tight man, how about you go throw away my lunch tray for me."
   Alec turns to look at me. "Man, f**k you." He does it anyways.
   I take a deep breath and cross my arms over my chest.
   "I thought you didn't like emotional attachments with people," Charlotte smiles.
   "There's obviously emotional attachment there," I laugh.
   She laughs too and I look over at her with a smile. She smiles back.
   "Do you want to go back to your room and talk?" She's blushing again. "Only if your done, though."
   I nod. "Yeah, I'm done." We both stand up and head over to Drew who is standing by the lunchroom doors.
   "You guys done?"
   Charlotte nods. "Can you take us back to Jude's room please?"
   He smiles. "Sure thing."