Imminent : Chapter One

The First Chapter of Imminent-my Divergent FanFic

TOBIAS

It has been exactly four months and six days since I scattered her ashes. I imagine she’s everywhere, around me, watching me with her beautiful eyes. I thought I’d finally made my peace after I zip-lined that day…for her. I never did it again. But sometimes memories come back-sharp and clear, even though they’d dulled somewhat a while back. Now they haunt me again.

I wake in cold sweat. The image of her body, pale and lifeless, lingers longer behind my eyes than I expected it to. I don’t know why this is happening. I walk over to the small bathroom and take a long shower. I get dressed and walk down the hall to the ‘dining area’ as we call it. We all eat there, in memory of how we used to, back in Dauntless.

“Hey” says Christina. She’s eating some sort of bread.

“Hey” I say.

“You sound more stuck-up than you usually are” she says.

“It’s just…I couldn’t stop thinking…” I’m at a loss for words.

“Hey…it’s okay.” Her tone is sympathetic now, not her usual sarcastic voice. She moves around to my side of the table and puts her arm around me.

“I thought we decided we needed to watch out for the moments in life that don’t suck” she says.

“I know” My voice gets squeaky.

“Hmm…how about we head down to Millennium Park? There’s nothing like a little war of words with Caleb to cheer you up. Zeke and Shauna are already there.” She smiles. 

And so we ended up in the lab after breakfast. Sometimes I hate how sterile it is. Like I’m too dirty to be there.

Today it reminds of the time Tris and I spent in Erudite headquarters. The world is tilting now.

What is this world I live in? Evelyn still lives with us. I think I did a pretty good job of bridging the gap between us. She is my ally once again. I tried to forgive Marcus on many occasions. But all those years of pain wouldn't let me. He wanders the halls of the Hancock building without a sense of direction. I don’t know if what’s broken in him can ever be healed. But mostly, I couldn’t care less.

But I still can’t decide if all of this holds meaning for me…without her. I guess I’ll spend my life deciding, but it’ll be worth it to live in her memory.

“You okay?” Christina brings me back.

“Yeah.” I say. We’ve reached Caleb’s lab.

Shauna and Zeke are just milling around, inspecting random things.

Shauna’s done a great job of mastering her leg braces. She can run around in them now.

Zeke is the same old Zeke I’ve always known. I’m glad he’s more at peace with Uriah’s death than I am with Tris’. But I imagine he has some occasional flashbacks. He doesn’t talk to me about them.

“Hey, Four. Come to break something?” he smirks.

“Yeah, I think I’ll start with your head.” I say. We engage in some combat, laughing all the while.

Christina and Shauna sigh and roll their eyes at the same time.

“Oh hey, when did you guys get here?” says Caleb. He looks ashen, his eyes are clouded. Not what I expected.

“What’s wrong, Nose? Blew up your test tubes?” Zeke laughs.

Cara comes in at that moment. She looks just like Caleb. Usually she screams at whoever is in the lab to get out, stop damaging my equipment etc. But today she just stares into space.

“Hey guys” she says. Her voice doesn't have her usual tart quality.

A vague sense of foreboding washes over me. Instinctively my mind goes back to that day…the day I lost Tris forever.

I walk over to Caleb and grab him by the shoulders.

“Caleb. You need to tell us what’s going on.”

“I…”

“CALEB! Just tell me!” I’m screaming now.

I feel someone’s palm on my shoulder. It’s Christina.

“Tobias…” her voice is full of warning. Cara breaks the silence.

“Follow me.”

Even though she says just two words, they evoke some animal instinct in me. Feral, scared, and ready to jump. Just like I was when I waited for Marcus to come home every day. I feel an inescapable tightening in my chest. I feel like I can’t move an inch. No one else moves either.

But I take the first step and follow Cara.