Canada's Lantern-H+

A Story by Abishai100

Can Toronto street vigilance offer a comic-like 'vision' of heated history?

A parody about modern treasure-security fears/angst, inspired by the fun street-humor colors of Quick Change (Bill Murray), which I hope you like,

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I'd been living in New England for some time now, after graduating from Dartmouth (New Hampshire) and I decided to follow some blood-diamond news-trails leading all around North America and felt worries about gem-market insurance journals possibly tied to rogue terrorism finances, drawing me to the Canadian city of Toronto, home of the Blue-Jays and Maple-Leafs, where I thought to choreography my own special modern 'super-hero' mission to perform a heist of some bonds belonging to a ruthless baron and make a safe-box deposit/swap with counterfeit Canadian notes (ha).

I decided to take a special Camarro from a used-lot for a very modest price and painted it to look like a 'classic' cop-car and pulled up to the bank after calling ahead to request the manager and a guardsman greet me at the parked/painted cop-car for a special social-media message 'encounter' involving the inspection of the ruthless baron's bank safe-box.

BANK MANAGER: "Everyone wears Coronavirus-masks on the streets of Canada these days, and this stranger gentleman of Toronto pulled up in that 'cool' painted classic cop-car, a 1968 Camarro, wearing a Coronavirus-mask and hat and sunglasses and telling us of his social-media 'stunt' to inspect the bank box of Baron Goldfinger and intended to greet this media-stuntman with a special bank balloon-pageantry that day (wow)."

GUARDSMAN: So, you're not a policeman anymore?

ME: No, indeed not, good-fellow, but I've been hired by a Goldfinger-associate.

GUARDSMAN: Why'd you carry that toy water-rifle, sir?
ME: Take me to the Goldfinger-safe/box, and I'll show you, good-fellow!

GUARDSMAN: Alright...sounds like a 'cool' social-media insurance post.

ME: That's what this is...a commentary-drawing personality 'humor' for insurance-checks.

Once inside the bank-box area of Goldfinger's holding(s), I revealed to the escorting guardsman that my toy water-rifle was filled with acid and instructed him to cover the security camera with a thick cloth inside my briefcase.

GUARDSMAN: What's this about...now?
ME: You're going to take photos of me burning into Goldfinger's box.

GUARDSMAN: Why cover the security-camera?

ME: All for theater...this is a prepaid stunt...the metal-box will be replaced.

GUARDSMAN: I don't understand, sir.

ME: Sure, ya do...the box contains counterfeit bonds to be swapped.

GUARDSMAN: With counterfeit notes (ha)?

ME: Excellence; I'll depart and you'll present the photos to the media.

GUARDSMAN: What's the 'full' message here, sir?
ME: That Golddinger's got some 'funny' hero insurance-net buds!

GUARDSMAN: Alright.

You see, once the stunt-heist was completed, Goldfinger had to report on social/media and in journals that mock-messaging concerning the insurance-integrity of his invested North American bonds reflected no conflict-zone/blood-diamond motions into Toronto, regardless of what his 'mysterious' associate wished to communicate by sending me in my ex-cop car with 'prepaid' holdings-box photo-session for this Canadian message about the 'acidity' of treasure-humor (for insurance!).

BANK MANAGER: "The bunch of counterfeit Canadian notes left in the Goldfinger-box by the mystery-man in exchange for the 'drawn' Goldfinger-bonds, 'rumored' to be tied to blood-diamond journals, suggests to us that this 'ex-cop' was some kind of Interpol-relation 'stuntman' creating some 'vigilante' humor Toronto market write for a 'covert' game of Canadian hope (hmm)."

That's the tale of this heist, friends. It involved the swap of notes-for-bonds and drew Interpol-relation inquiry surrounding gem-insurance integrity/investments tied to rogue terrorism financing and moved me to create a 'cool' alien-invader chess-game matrix presentation on Canadian social-media, to draw even cooler social commentary regarding post-9/11 era North American 'paranoia' surrounding treasure dominion hatred (sure).

INQUIRER: Do you consider yourself some kind of bank-insurance journalist?
ME: Not really...just a 'face' in the crowd for an expression of home.

Do you know what I did with my high-art, for this vigilance-action on blood-diamond inquiry in Canada/Toronto --- I bought, among other things, a ton of Jets cheerleader trade-cards, for a brand new social-media 'diorama' hyping all the flowery of commerce-life securities, creating a spotlight on the quality of North American high-jinks (wow). All good superstition may lead to a capitalist-race hysteria, no?

When people asked me what my new cyber-storytelling alias would involve/include as a fun comics-avatar, I explained, "The 'coolest' character I can think of to cast this Western-world 'action' for treasure-securities/insurance hospitality is, of course, the happy Lantern (of heavens!)."