2nd floor

The smell was like,

death ang roten eggs,

the look was,

sad and lonly,

everyone walked around

like zombies,

not one person,

did i see smile,

the walls were bare,

made if feel like a prison,

the silence was heartbraking,

almost unbarable,

the nurse walks in

every two minutes,

and smiles her

i cant wait to leave smile,

the familys so quiet,

just stare at eachother

or the nearest wall,

my family

sits,

stares,

thinks,

dad trys to talk,

brother doesnt want to,

me i sit quietly,

didnt/ couldnt speak,

i tried,

but i got choked,

i sat there,

untill dad was fit to leave,

listening to the clock go,

tick...tick...tick,

we stood up to leave,

all i could do,

was give him a hug,

and walk away,

as i tried not ot cry,

as i got off that 2nd floor,

i kept telling myself,

the he needed this,

and that it would be okay.

Reviews

[SheaRyhai]

It was a little confusing to tell if the narrator was the person trapped in that 'hospital/mental-ward' or the father. There were a few typos, 3 that I remember, so you might want to read over it again. Over all the poem tells a very powerful story, and you gave us many good images that brought the story behind this poem to life. Well done.

[Adalynn]

It was actually my brother.. but i can see how it could be confusing.. i never redo or gover my work once its dont so thats probabbly why i never caught that.. thank you.