Her Demeanour

Her demeanour reveals wondrous tales,

Of soothing winds and mighty gales.

Cerulean waters though her sheath,

Unforeseeable perils lie underneath...

Life on earth, her womb bore

Like composition of a master-score,

Gallons of patience that in went, finally

Her creations exalting her majesty.

She's our chalice of elixir,

Without which no life would stir.

Her mood perturbs weather's course,

Haven of solace her tranquil shores.

Her grandeur left none untouched,

And human minds when it clutched

It ignited in them the passionate fire,
Made them chisel their innate desire.

In her torrent rivers, their abode find

Where their restless souls unwind,

With salts of faraway lands, they come

Only to multiply her abundance, her wisdom.
                                              
Her shores are rendezvous for lovers,
Exuberantly they lie on her sandy covers,
In passion as their hearts coalesce, 
A warm breeze to them does appease.

A paled sun then plunges into her,
Leaving blue sky to fade in a blur,
Home-sailing birds quite mourn,
The setting sun's glorious sojourn.


But by her serenity allured be not!

If it is her only virtue, is what you thought.

For it is but a facade, a veil mere

And her fury may cost you dear.

Even the mother turns insensate

And from tranquility churns out hate,

From depths of calmness wrath summons,

To consume the lives of her own sons.

Soothing winds turn into spiteful storms,

Rhythmic waves assume fiery forms,

And tornadoes on earth tread,

Causing havoc, spreading dread.

Such is her demeanour!

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Indeed, such is her demeanour. Quite an imagery you've put into words here. You painted a picture right before my eyes. I like the theme of beauty flirting with danger which runs throughout the poem. You could have maybe expanded on it, with subtle hints, but that's just my opinion.

"Cerulean waters though her sheath,
Unforeseeable perils lie underneath..."
Cerulean waters is such a good phrase. It immediately instills calmness. Who doesn't like such a place? You follow that line with "Unforeseeable perils". Appearances can be deceptive, eh? Personally, I feel you can replace "unforseeable" with a words that's slightly easier on the tongue. It will improve the flow.

"She's our chalice of elixir,
Without which no life would stir."
True. Water forms the basis of all life. Good description!

"In her torrent rivers, their abode find
Where their restless souls unwind,
With salts of faraway lands, they come
Only to multiply her abundance, her wisdom."
I love these lines. There is such subtelty in them. If you think of "her" in this to be the sea, you can see the literal meaning. But if you think of "her" to be a noblewoman, you can imagine rivers to be her suitors, travelling to faraway lands and trying to get her back something to win her over.

"A paled sun then plunges into her,
Leaving blue sky to fade in a blur,"
Ah, the quintessential sunset scene, replete with the birds flying by the dozen! You could have been more articulate with the second line, I think.

"But by her serenity allured be not!
If it is her only virtue, is what you thought.
For it is but a facade, a veil mere
And her fury may cost you dear."
Well said! Isn't it true of all women, and not just the sea?

I think the conclusion came abruptly. You could have tapered the write off, or you could have chosen to write something that reconciles between the beauty and the fury. The abrupt conclusion prevents this from being a great poem. It is a very good poem, though.
Just a few touches here and there, and I think it can be great.

[G. Anderson]

I love this description! It painted such imagery into my mind's eye... Lovely.
~G.T.A.

[Dinesh Sairam]

I've already commented on this on Orkut, yet here goes -

"Cerulean waters though her sheath,
Unforeseeable perils lie underneath"

Voila! Apt usage of words and beautiful too!

"In her torrent rivers, their abode find
Where their restless souls unwind,"

Casts a humongous imagery.. Well put.

"Soothing winds turn into spiteful storms,
Rhythmic waves assume fiery forms,
And tornadoes on earth tread,
Causing havoc, spreading dread.

Such is her demeanour! "

This is a perfect ending to a wonderful poem (Loved the alliteration 'Fiery forms')..

Keep writing. Kudos.

[Sagar Patil]

Hmmn Adarsh, very good lexicon usage. I like it. Maybe, will give this one a full review when time permits me to do so. :)

[Lucy Joan]

Very brilliant, the way you altered the poem's tone from the ethereal beauty of the woman to the rage brewing within her.
"She's our chalice of elixir,
Without which no life would stir.
Her mood perturbs weather's course,
Haven of solace her tranquil shores."
There is an illusory image behind these lines that tell me about mother nature. Her independence and power over life is a great representation of this paramount character.
But by her serenity allured be not!
If it is her only virtue, is what you thought.
For it is but a facade, a veil mere
And her fury may cost you dear.
This stanza is a great transition to my earlier mention of your change of tone. You wonderfully explain the facade to which the woman is shrouded behind; a split demeanour over an implied obligation to kindness and indignation.
Great ending with the last statement! It's like a culmination or confirmation to the truth of her demeanour. Wonderful poem! Thank you for sharing it.