Ripped

About the cruelty of something we can�t repress.

Darkness has fallen over the silver green leaves, in the forest weaved by my fantasy. How quickly the trees turn to ashes, as I see my skin becoming as white as the drops of candle wax.  

 

Answer me !  

 

Fierce winds blow from behind me, making my skin tremble …  

Sweet dreams are blown away like dust, making me feel them one by one as they pass into nothingness.

 

My eyes darken.

The dress I wore is almost ripped apart, and I fall to my knees like a puppet released down by it’s strings from it’s master.

Pain passes trough my flesh like the sharp icicles from the edge of my hearth before you made it melt into a fountain of joy.  

 

No…

 

It’s not true ….that your path will never cross mine …

… your touch will never cress my skin…

 

sight will never fall upon….my love will never reach your…again .

 

 

I feel the merciless drops of rain falling upon me, like an army of iron cubes with sharp voices. Demons can’t keep me away.  

 

Your marble grave is a delicate string of light, in this eternity of darkness. My tears fall upon the ground, as I once more let memories dominate my tormented small spirit.

 

Words cannot express a love so complete ,as the one we shared my love.

 

I will not forget you.

 

 

Reviews

[Periac]

stunning A.M each line drew me in an imagery whirlwind....and i followed like my favorite line...

"I feel the merciless drops of rain falling upon me, like an army of iron cubes with sharp voices."

the only part that stumbled from my tongue was in this line...in which i think is amazing...and being a story then i guess the detail is needed....had i flew this from my head the "from my master " section would be left to interpret.....

"The dress I wore is almost ripped apart, and I fall to my knees like a puppet released down by it’s strings from it’s master.

otherwise in all an amzing piece

[Mel Stevens]

Love the imagery. A poem within a short story.

[Johnny Westbrook]

Very deep, dark, detailed, and most of all beautiful. I love this short story of yours. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

[Mark D. Chevalier]

What a powerful mix of poetry and story-verse Adela.
You certianly drank deeply from the cup of depair to make this come alive. It is an excellent piece of work!
M

[Dorchadas]

Beautiful, dark, sorrowful and yearning... there are alot of intense emotions flowing through this piece. Very powerful write Adela ;)

[[untitled]]

Very dramatic and descriptive while expressing the sorrow that the cahracter feels. Ver good story.

[Fallen_Immortal]

Wow. I'm dumbfounded. It has such a dark, sweet melody in it, almost singing the story to us. It's gorgeous. I've never read something so... mystifying and sorrowful. Amazing.

[Midorii Blue]

I can really feel the intensity in the first two paragraphs!! The imagery is well done.

[Partha]

Wonderful work there. vivid imagination written with so much delicate detail the reader can almost see it in front of his eyes. though it is a story I found the words poetic which is great. Intense, melancholic and simply awesome.

[kym820]

This is very powerful.

You made me feel as though I were there.

My favorite part was "Sweet dreams are blown away like dust, making me feel them one by one as they pass into nothingness".

I can't wait to read more of your work.

[Annalisa]

Lovely imagery, but i felt as if as a reader you were rushed through the piece... It moved very quickly. Also, did you mean to use the word "cress"? Because it doesn't make sense, a cress is a type of cabbage so did you mean to caress?

But overall this was lovely.