Internal Chatter-By:Akeen V.

Night falls inward spiraling towards fright.

Morbid thoughts slowly flow during night.

Blood leaks quickly from the wall;

Leaving positive thinking to steadily fall.

Death circulates creating a trapping vortex,

Throwing all life sideways, completely out of context.

The enemy does not lay upon fears doorsteps.

But rather inside, where chemical imbalances

Within membranes in the brain, continuously fight challenges,

Between sanity's quite sensation and insanity's loud agitation.

At times sane thoughts are kidnapped; locking them away in darkness.

Replacing them with bouts of insanity, such a repetitive occurance.

Until one day arises, beyond that moon lite horizon.

Fighting shall cease from sickness of trying.

Sanity's marvelous and also protecting light

Will  meet defeat, expelling righteousness throughout the night.

Peering in, darkness can easily be perceived,

Covering everything which is known to be right.

An altered life and mind becomes received.

Now insanity's light, shines perfectly bright.

Yet neither insanity nor sanity are given victory

For both did not conquer what was sought after so rapidly.

Forgotten by both, another waited very patiently.

Watching them bicker while laughing hysterically.

Waiting for the time to present itself,

For a true victor can commend himself.

Insanity's holds an obvious fault

Once its peak has been breached

Another entity takes over while it takes a halt.

Therefore when it is breached

Insanity's door slams at its feet.

Victory shows what everyone should see

That madness has won

And shall forever control me.

Reviews

[Tori]

Incredible, as is the rest of your work

[roarke]

sanity or madness, is either worth achieving? another topic.

You rhyme well, but your rhythm wanders here, some is ok for me, but maybe a little too much here. The first stanza is great. The couplet later is great too, but doesn't seem to fit, I don't know if that's intentional.

The feelings and intent are all there, but I might try to redraft them to flow and feel more like the first stanza.

good stuff, great original concepts and cerebral tugs or war.

[Norma M Sutton]

I like this.

[Seashell]

Fabulous. Scarey, morbid but so true to light. I could imagine it all step by step. Thanks so much for this very clever dark write.

Babs xx

[Paradoxical]

Very powerful... Great flow and rhyme.. Nice one!

[Myenigma]

"The enemy does not lay upon fears doorsteps.
But rather inside, where chemical imbalances
Within membranes in the brain, continuously fight challenges,
Between sanity's quite sensation and insanity's loud agitation."

The first line was surprising. But its true sometimes we are our worst enemies. Nicely written

[r]

WOW. This is frightening, with the madness taking over and everything. Just wow. I really love this poem, and how you write it. It....it's chilling how good it is, and the subject of it. It's just...wow. Amazing, and I love it so much. Just WOW.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

i love this poem, caught my eye very good work

[Leanne Conway]

I like this one, It's a beautiful poem hon.

[Voice]

Ohhh eerie!! I like it!! =D Great write!!

Voice