Bound

Bound

A Poem by Aleyah

My longing heart pulses,

bound by your iridescent glow,

Counting your quickening footsteps,

I watch you come and go.

 

You cannot see me slipping

I’m falling off the edge,

Just waiting for your hand,

To pull me up again.

 You’re melting in my hands,

Like cold and numbing ice

Coquette and unsuspicious,

I know this won’t suffice.

 

Days have passed and nights have gone,

And I’m waiting just for you,

But you remain so far away,

What else can I do?

Oceans of eyes look past me,

Everyone’s but yours,

Not once have you glanced my way,

Leaving me wanting more.

 

Lost in fields of dreams,

Stuck inside the glass,

Sitting, hoping, wishing,

Waiting for you to pass.

So captivated by your presence,

Dreaming to get inside,

Don’t you hear me calling out?

A way in I've yet to find.

 

I'm wavering....frail and fragile,

I’ve almost given up,

But I’m roped in and enchanted,

Longing for your touch.

 

 

© 2011 Aleyah


Author's Note

Aleyah
Grrr. I know this is rough....*sighs*....One day, I will produce a really, nice, fluid poem. I promise. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Beautifully-written and very flowing poem!!! I know how it feels though, I went through it aswell, especially the part where you say:

"Days have passed and nights have gone,
And I’m waiting just for you,
But you remain so far away,
What else can I do?
Oceans of eyes look past me,
Everyone’s but yours,
Not once have you glanced my way,
Leaving me wanting more."

I know how it feels, the worse they make you feel, the more you want them and need them to look at you, just one simple look, and everything will be ok.

LOVED reading this one!!!!!! =D

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I could almost see rain cascading down the glass as you waited for your object of affection to pass. You've given us a piece of your soul and done so with a poetic hand. We can feel the yearning with every stanza, your heart incapable of being subdued. Great poem Aleyah.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Not rough at all.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I don't really think it's rough. It flows quite well enough. Nice rhyming pattern and the emotions are portrayed vivdly.
You cannot see me slipping

I’m falling off the edge,

Just waiting for your hand,

To pull me up again.

Just shows, right here. You have hope for another to come by. To rescue you.
It's a really nice write. I don't think anything needs to be changed

-Marie- (:

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was written beautifully and I loved the flow.
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 8 Years Ago


While it may not be as fluid as you would like, it is a wonderful and intreaging piece to say the least. I love how vague the tone is. The way you have writen this poem leaves the reader an open chance to interpret the content in so many different ways. I personaly felt it displayed a fantastic image of entrapment of oneself; a transparent prison made of self-inflicted pain and resistance. Something is there, but it is unattainable, making the longing for it grow ever stronger. Again, it is a fantastic piece and I encourage you to continue writing work like this, whether you find problem in it or not. Everyone is their own worst critic :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


It is the goal that makes this piece a work of art.

We have all been there... We all will one day be there again, even at the end of our days.

I am glad you sent this one. It is not as bad as you make it out to be, don't be so tough on yourself... really it's potential is worthy of praise.

Have a great day!

P.S. After you have played with it abit,(according to your expectations) You should consider entering this poem in contest love or darksecrets on Poetic Infusion Society's site!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Beautifully-written and very flowing poem!!! I know how it feels though, I went through it aswell, especially the part where you say:

"Days have passed and nights have gone,
And I’m waiting just for you,
But you remain so far away,
What else can I do?
Oceans of eyes look past me,
Everyone’s but yours,
Not once have you glanced my way,
Leaving me wanting more."

I know how it feels, the worse they make you feel, the more you want them and need them to look at you, just one simple look, and everything will be ok.

LOVED reading this one!!!!!! =D

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You say even the deepest things I experience... even the things I cannot put words to! You are an excellent writer!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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☯
Actually, it's not rough at all. It flows well, and you kept a beat in tune. I really enjoyed reading this and the way you portrayed longing and desire matches perfectly. I especially liked the first two lines. Great write :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 5, 2011
Last Updated on May 6, 2011
Tags: enchanted, longing, trapped

Author

Aleyah
Aleyah

Somewhere Only I know , NM



About
My name's Aleyah :) I adore world culture and diversity, I can't stand moths and egg salad I drink orange juice like its my job! I hardcore want to travel the world some day ♥ Films, cin.. more..

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