Unsound Love

She danced her life beside me

Delicate in her ways,

Picking me up so gently

 I lost myself in her grace.

 

Her cloudless eyes spoke to mine

Her beauty growing as I gaze,

I smiled at her with my loving heart,

Lest she fade away.

 

You saw me bruised and broken,

 But I was shamed and enraged,

You lived by me with an open heart,

I sent you to the grave.

 

But sweltering jealousy took me far,

My forgotten spirit cast away,

Burning out like old stars,

I fell upon the ground today.

 

It was not my life to take,

Her soul bleeding in my hands that shun,

Her pale and lifeless body fading,

What have I done?

 

I wavered regretfully through her hair,

Had she thought me a useless pawn?

Faltering my footsteps each way I went,

Where have I gone?

 

I play these ivory keys,

As I look for you above,

A song in my heart forever,

You are my chastened love.

Author's Note

This is from a man's point of view...

Reviews

[Babe Roxx]

Breathtaking poetry...lovely take on being on the other side of the shoe.

[nicolo]

From a man's point of view ei? xP
What's so interesting about this is that A Girl is Writing from A Man's Point of view. Interesting :)

I love the way you poured this. So full of heart.

[_mal]

Beautiful. I think everything has been said.

[Joe Medoff]

Wow, the imagery was really powerful, I pictured almost everything :D. Nice gimmick with the last line of every stanza.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is great, very heartfelt. I smiled at her with my loving heart,Lest she fade away...and the way you referenced to a piano...I play these ivory key...I love it.
Excellent work!!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Interesting work. Very heartfelt, like a man having lost his soul mate.

Quite a beautiful work.

[marielondon]

I love the theme of music woven throughout this poem, especially at the end. This was just a completely beautiful piece that I have read over and over. Your writing is amazing.

[Helpless]

i like this one a lot, its very inspiring

[A. E. Cox]

I love love this poem! Very well written. My blog has a monthly writing contest and this month the theme is music, and your poem would be such a great entry! Go to www.Write-About-This.blogspot.com to check it out.