To love or not to love..

I wrote this to battle my constant struggles with trust..

Am I foolish enough
To give my love away
Tough enough
To survive another break
I'm too tired to go the lengths it takes
To make myself alive again..
But should I be with him
Always depriving him
Never allowing my life with him to succeed
I'm dividing him and myself
But I can't put my past away on the shelf
I desperately need some help
Before I put myself through hell
And ruin his life as well..

Reviews

[Adam Adams]

No... you ain't ruin his life but save your as well as his heart not to reach & meet poor heartaches. Sometimes, people don't understand the value of their night so without thinking anything, just cos of being lost in desperation, they do make things which're pleasure for body, no doubt, but way hazardous to LIFE when such pleasure turns to devastation. You know what am sayin'.

And.. once getting savored by PLEASURE and DEVASTATION, the heart starts fearing love cos...love is itself a thread - one verse - of temptation & destruction so i guess, you do ..or doin' good. If he loves you hard, he would ev'n find joy of YOUR LOVE in such deprivation you bring to him, not to do anything what scars you due to having some past experiences of love-NIGHTs in life, cos he knows, sooner or later, if his love is true enough to bring you its sweetness, you won't let him deprive off anything he's looking to get from you or your flesh. You'll yourself break the unbound shell of his deprivation that you've created to him & pull him close to your heart so as both of you could come close to each other's night, over the night. So I guess, you doin' good... and also when your own temptation will reach beyond desperation, you, of course, won't let both of you deprive off anything. Excellent poetry. Your metaphor is very saddened in poetry but she's way thoughtful and understandable on love. Wonderful poetry. You opened your heart, undisguised!

[A.marie.speaks]

Thank you! Your comment is like a poem on its own. It was wonderful to read! Thank you again, it is a great feeling to hear insightful comments like yours. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Adam Adams]

You're welcome! I oft. kinda enjoy ev'n reading what you always have to say... speak ... in words. It's deep and fascinating what you bake. Always intriguing to taste you! It's so raw and, you know, MODERN.. seemed like so FOREIGN in the lag. of love that you questioned yourself: "TO LOVE OR NOT TO LOVE".. it sounds like "TO LOVE OR NOT TO "BELOVED". . .excellent. Always resonating much outta your stuffs. Keep it up! Hope you bring some of your latest stuffs soon to the cafe!

[A.marie.speaks]

Thank you very much! The best part of writing is sharing it and it's so gratifying to hear it resonates with others! I'm currently working on a book, but I will surely have some new stuffs to put up on here soon.

[Adam Adams]

You workin' on a "book"? Sounds very fascinating. So what kinda book is it? What genre you be working across? I write novels myself, but don't post on here ... so am quite interested to see that you also write novels & longed to know more of it outta curiosity.

[A.marie.speaks]

Ih, it's a work in progress.. haha, I have never written a lengthy story before, so I'm trying something new and I'm fairly self conscious. I actually have no idea the proper way to wrote a book or what the difference is between a story, book, novel. I majored in chemistry and biology lol. But I do a lot of reading.. maybe that makes up for my lack of knowledge. It's fiction, a bit of a thriller or suspense theme. I want to really focus on the meaning of life and what it means to be human.. sounds like a train wreck I'm sure. I'm much better at poetry.

[Bohrium Guy]

This is so beautiful. Glad I stumbled upon it. I directly so can relate on many levels and your imagery was spot on. Thanks for sharing this piece.

~Rob~

[A.marie.speaks]

Thank you very much! Happy to hear you could relate. It's always nice to hear you are not alone in your struggles.

[Bohrium Guy]

I think at some point all of us face the same trials.... the sad part is figuring out how to express them without fear. Rejection always has a way to put a cork in the bottle of emotions. I choose to be me.... :)

[Robert Parlange]

Trust is a hard commodity to acquire. But human beings are a race of risk-takers. It's part of our evolution. It's why we left the trees and left the other apes behind. Although sometimes I think we took a few with us.

Good poem. You are very talented.

[A.marie.speaks]

Thank you for reading. Trust is a scary but beneficial commodity and I am starting to realize it is worth the risk.

[Clara]

Ahhh, it is so easy to self-sabotage ourselves in relationships isn't it?
I can relate to this...

A well-penned piece!

[A.marie.speaks]

Oh yes it is.. I find myself subconsciously wrecking things. By the time I realize it's usually too late. I'm glad you could relate and enjoy this piece! Keep a watchful eye on yourself, as I am trying to do and pehaps one day we can let ourselves just be.

[Clara]

Me too, it's like I don't want to but I end up doing it anyway. I wonder if it is partially due to some self-loathing aspect of my personality. Lol I enjoyed and related to this piece very much. Thank you for sharing it. Yes, baby steps. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

The question of love. I believe we must know what we truly want.
"I desperately need some help
Before I put myself through hell
And ruin his life as well.."
Love touches us rarely in a lifetime. People confuse lust with love. Love is the willingness to live and die for another. Ensuring your love is content and safe over your own needs. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Made me think this evening.
Coyote

[A.marie.speaks]

Love is a complicated mess for me, maybe for most people. I'm glad this made you think! That is always my desire when I write

[Coyote Poetry]

You did. I'm old. I know what love is. Love is holding a child for the first time. The embrace create a lifetime love for us.

[Jimmy Yetts]

What are the things you need to lead a reasonably content life--or, are you not yet ready for a reasonably content life?
Only you know what you truly must have.
Unfortunately, I'm now thoroughly conflicted; my own trust issues have reemerged.
A thoughtful and, obviously, very effective bit of work, poetess!

[A.marie.speaks]

Thank you and my apologies for drawing you into my state of utter confusion! Trust is a double edged sword!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Was mostly kidding about the mental conflict, A.

[A.marie.speaks]

Oh, I figured! I was mostly being facetious

[alifeacoustic]

Heart aching and passionate words. Is there maybe a word missing from the second line though? Give maybe. Otherwise, superbly written.

[A.marie.speaks]

Oops! Yes there is, thank you for pointing that out lol I typed it out too quickly. But I'm glad you enjoyed it anyways.