Forbidden Dream

Style Encouraged by http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/watchtheworld/636482/ For http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Get-published!-GLBT-COMMUNITY/13834/ About a gay boy and his dreams :(

Just a few nights ago,

In a castle far away,
My dreams were hospitalized so sweetly,
During the absence of                             day.

There I met my Knight in Shining Armor,
So strong and brave he was.
A beautiful sight to behold;
His attitude a rarity under the street-      light.

He didn’t know my secret;
Why no one did.
I didn’t speak the words,
For a single word                                   brings

The pain of a thousand suns,
Or the coup of my mind by pests.
After all, I’m not like other boys.
But most of all, I feared                          reality

                     Of waking up, away from forbidden desire.

Author's Note

Well here's my first GLBT poem. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Kiri Nells]

This poem can take on so many meanings. As I read it, I did not have in mind the sort of thing that you did as the poet. Yet, once I read your author's note, I fully understood the intent. I also commend you on your use of structure. It's creative, yet simple to figure out. Thank you so much for posting this poem, I very much enjoyed it. :)

[Darl]

You can be who you really are in your dreams but the daylight brings a reality check like no other, what you want you cant really have. Beautiful poem.

[watch_the_world]

I have to say nicely done. :D I've read a lot of peoples poems similiar to this. I must say this is one of the best I've seen ahah. I personally absolutely LOVE making a double meaning in a piece of writing. I don't know it's kind of like a game. :D I like how your meaning is simple and to the point. Mine are often complicated or phrases I take from something. I've only written a few poems like this. But idk. I really like this. I like it a lot... great write :D

[guiltyascharged]

Awww nyaw nyaaaawww! So cute I love it so much! And by the way, I think it's LGBT, Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender. Sorry if it isn't.. Anyways, this was really beautiful. I came out as a bisexual to my parents after hiding it for 3 years.. I have yet to ever come out to them about being a Transgender. This really showed the fear of a homosexual man loving another man, but not wanting to tell him. Love really clouds your vision, sometimes makes it easier to see through the haze that we call "society" and see the open minded ways. But in reality, everything has a balance. The fear of telling another man (or person of the same gender) that you love them is always a fear, it's unheard of and you don't know their thought on it! It's very scary because you don't know who to trust. I told my "friend" I was bisexual in 5th grade and she told the whole school.. I've been the school "dyke" for years. But I'll rise above them, because one day they will see the truth and feel bad.. Feel terrible. Maybe not in this life or the next, but they will see the golden light of acceptance.

[AndyJCash]

This is a very nice poem and like other readers, didn't have the thought of GLBT until I read the author's note. I like the structure as well, I wrote a poem (not published on WC) in a similar format of having a single straying word at the end of a verse, but you've done a better job of it than I did :)

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

Love this!
"My dreams were hospitalized so sweetly,
During the absence of day."
Is quite beautiful

[Tasha]

I liked how you spaced out day, light, brings, and reality it really added depth to this poem. And for your first GLBT poem you did a terrific job.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[TheRavenQueer]

Day light brings reality. :)
I LOVE this! It was brilliantly written, and so very true.
Favourites list for sure. Well done!

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

In the first stanza i like how you spaced out the word "day" from "During the absence of" it put more feeling there, showing the absence even more, it felt like to me. I enjoyed the different structure in this poem, a nice write, and deep story of emotions in this. Good & nice write.

[Darkest Rose]

I love this.Flows so well.Amazing write keep up the good work :)