Stephen Fry’s Ballad Extended

Have you read/listened to "The Ode Less Travelled" by Stephen Fry? No? Well, in the book, Fry asks his readers to write a ballad that he started. Yes? Well, I just explained it didn't I?

 

Fry:

Now gather round and let me tell the tale of Danny Wise

and how his sweet wife Annabel did suck out both his eyes

And if I tell the story true and if I tell it clear,

there’s not a mortal one of you won’t shriek in mortal fear

 

I:

It was in the evening that it happened

and as Danny was eating away,

his wife came to greet him

carrying a fairly large tray

 

She demanded him to take a look

and of course Danny did obey

He knew his wife was rough and tough,

she had put his knickers on display

 

She had hung them from a flagpole,

Danny was in quite dismay,

and asked the neighbours to take a look

and soon they began to say,

 

“Danny’s knickers on a flagpole!

How funny, how right!

Danny’s knickers on a flagpole!

Comfy, but tight!”

 

But that worry couldn’t be brought up,

he had to deal with the task at hand,

the task that involved a tray

and a woman raging mad

 

So as Danny turned his eyes

towards the display,

he saw a rabbit with no eyes

sitting on the tray

 

His wife Annabel asked him,

“Why would you do such a terrible thing?”

And to this, Danny cried,

“Me?! I didn’t touch the thing!”

 

 

 

Annabel laughed and rolled her eyes

because she didn’t believe his tale

Danny would lose his eyes

as a token of betrayal

 

Soon, Danny was up against the wall

not sure of what to expect

Squirming, thrashing, clawing

as his wife approached him with disrespect

 

She licked her lips, a grin on her face

She was quite a sight

And Danny cowered in fear,

afraid of becoming blind

 

Soon her mouth was upon him

and Danny screamed in fright

It was then that his sweet wife Annabel

sucked out both his eyes

 

Darkness soon entombed him

as he felt the warm oozing blood

His wife smiled maliciously

at the deep reddened flood

 

But now, quite unfortunately,

we come to the end of this tale

Remember children, and remember well,

evil can prevail

 

It could be amongst us,

waiting in the trees

And soon as darkness unfurls

suddenly you’ll see

 

Evils branch out,

maybe even take a life

Or maybe you’ll be like Danny

and lose both your eyes

 

Danny never thought

that there was evil in his wife

which made it easier for the witch

to kill him and turn him blind

 

So let this be a lesson to you all,

know your friends and know them well

because that one mistake you make

could send you straight to hell