Bird cage

A love story transformed into a poem

A home
Warm and welcoming
And loving
It steps in,
Getting comfortable.
Then it happens
Steel bars close in on it
The victim
The creature
The animal
The bird
Wings too big
Cage too small
Which is at fault?
Squeaking and peeking back won't help
The wind whispers to it
Soothing and welcoming
But the cage holds it
Refusing to let it go
SNAP of the lock
The door swings open
The world grows arms
They are spread out for it
Good bye, my love
For your cage can never
Lock me in again.
Or the bird.

Author's Note

I know the end sounds weird but it makes sense to me. The plot of the story is, guy meets girl who has a bird as a pet. Girl falls in love and they start going out. Sometimes she gets hurt because of him and she doubts them too. Her family notices and they try to convince her he's bad. But then he gets sweet again and they run away together. Then he shows his true side, anger. He starts abusing her and sometimes she will fight back. She sneaks away from him back to her family where she sees her bird. She compares herself to it. She lets it go.

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I like this idea of a story, it would be interesting if you tried writing a short story based on your author's note. I feel that the poem could speak more and be more visual, but again I do like the idea. Perhaps instead of saying "it" in the beginning you could put I or she for like a person and then go back and forth in how the girl may feel like the trapped bird and such, that's just an idea. If you do try rewriting it I would keep this one and just do a second version and see which one you like better.

[WordlessFacade]

This is good, I can't wait to read more of your writing! =)

[Angels heart]

Thank you! Please leave a review while your at it ;)

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Beautiful piece, I love this write, nicely penned.

Kaze~ :-)

[Angels heart]

Thank you. It was hard, but it worked out. I'm so happy :)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-)

[Bluefire]

I love the story to this. And the way the poem is written.
It's very much like the ever changing shape of a cloud through the wind.
Well done. ^^

[Angels heart]

Thank you. It was kind of complicated for me to write to match up with the story.

[Bluefire]

Aye, it's always a challenge to line up a story into a poem. But that's the fun of it. ^^

[Angels heart]

Yes,it was very fun and I got a great poem out of it ;)

[Chris Micha]

Wow! I was really touched by this piece. It made all the sense in the world. Very beautiful!

[Angels heart]

Thank you, I'm glad that you liked it.

[Hibiki]

I do understand this~
This is great...

"Lock me in again.
Or the bird."

^^

[Angels heart]

I'm glad that you can understand it :) thank you.

[Saddam]

The door swings open
The world grows arms
They are spread out for it
Good bye, my love
For your cage can never
Lock me in again.
Or the bird.

Very humble poetry. Humanity is there. Let the wings fly into sky. Great.

[Angels heart]

Thank you, I have really been practicing with my poetry so I'm glad to get a good review :)