Simply Living In My Mind

I wrote this about a year ago when I was struggling with nostalgia. I thought that "living in my mind" was the only way to keep from falling into society's traps, & to run from regret.

In my head,

I like to bask in the warmth of the sun as it sings.

I take in the glory of the day while it lasts

Because as soon as dusk comes,

The moon will begin scream.

 

Flooding my mind with nightmares,

The night drowns out any chance of sleep.

It’s not right; it’s so unfair.

 

But today’s vision in my mind was different.

The sun didn’t sing, & the birds didn’t fly.

The dawn had nothing but rain to bring.

 

I was forced to bare the thought of what atrocities the evening would hold.

Before I knew it, night set in.

I was totally wrong; my thoughts all too bold.

 

 Unlike the other nights, tonight the stars are humming,

And the moon just merely smiles.

This time I wish I could travel through the dark sky,

A journey of a thousand miles.

 

It’s just too bad tonight is a simple hallucination.

Society says I shouldn’t think like this,

But I’d rather just stay inside my brain.

There’s nothing about the real world I miss.

 

Here where we are, there are billions of men & women,

All arguing about money, politics, & religions of people.

Wars, starvation, & depression are all just factors.

Wouldn’t life be simpler if everyone just loved God & listened to The Beatles?

 

Instead we all have to fight,

We all have to die.

I’m just supposed to be pretty; I’m supposed to say I’m fine.

This is why I stay inside my head,

Living out these days & nights.

I will live here in my mind.

I will live this life of mine.

Author's Note

Finding this piece about a year after I wrote it showed me how far away you can get from your mistakes & regrets with God's amazing grace. During that time, I struggled greatly with nostalgia, anxiety, & regret. I was very quiet, & I had a lot long, painful nights. (It took a lot of praying & writing to stay away from self-harm.) I couldn't explain to anyone how I felt, or why I was so upset. I really didn't know myself why I was struggling so badly.
One night, though, crying on the foot of my bed, I found God. He saved me from all of it, slowly but surely. I was refreshed, & felt that I could live again. He has made such an impact on my life since. I feel that I've matured lots as a person, & as a Christian verses when I first jotted this poem down. Nostalgia & anxiety can eat you alive if you let it, but my God is bigger than any of that, & that one thought is what kept me going & got me where I am now. I hope you enjoy this write & take its message of hope with you.

Reviews

[CS]

I know exactly what you are talking about. I went through a period just like this and embraced it completely. There can be a very big disconnect between who we are inside and who we are to save face. I think those times of living in our own heads are good to bring those two together. Also, who we are at the center of ourselves is usually much happier when we are not having to worry about all the madness that goes on in this world. We all need a bit of solitude from time to time.

There are several great thoughts in this piece of writing. I really liked "Society says I shouldn’t think like this, But I’d rather just stay inside my brain. There’s nothing about the real world I miss." That rings a bell with me. But "Wouldn’t life be simpler if everyone just loved God & listened to The Beatles?" That was great :)

Nostalgia is a nice place to visit. We all have to live in reality though.

I really loved this. Very nice writing, Arriah.

[Arriah]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for your sweet comment. I'm glad you could relate. :)

[A. Amos]

Your poetry and your testimony both are simply honest, God keep you safe and always blessed

[Stonz P.]

Wow, it is very hopeful.
Going through a rough patch, myself I relate to it so much I am having a hard time searching for an appropriat, befitting review.
And you totally had my thumbs up at "Wouldn't life be simpler if everyone just loved God and listened to The Beatles?" God & The Beatles.. Don't they have answers to everything? Do write more..

-PeterB

[DrD]

Our minds often become the refuge from all external things. We find shelter in our thoughts and the knowledge that it is the safest place we know, where no one can enter or alter a single thing. I think we've all done that but for some it becomes a refuge from problems greater than themselves and your work addresses that very well with good structure and word selection. An enjoyable, worthy read indeed.

[kelvin]

the things that go on in our world today makes you want to go and hide somewhere anywhere but in the reality of the world. I guess this is why some of us loose contact with reality. to escape reality but those of us who have our faith in god will battle through the rough times in life many obstacles are laid upon us good or bad but its up to us on how we handle it this is a goo read here thanks for sharing and keep writing fellow writer

[Coyote Poetry]

It is sad the world can't find the way to peace. I pray my children will know one day of peace in their life. I understand this poem. The world can overtake us. So much sadness and pain. I put on the good face for work and family. I worry for the future and I don't know how to fix the problems. Thank you for sharing your poem. I like your thoughts and the ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote