Perplexions

A message routes from heaven

Unleashes silent hues of raven 

Encroach upon angel's paradise 

In divine wombs he thus resides. 

Quivers little beat in dwelling cocoon, 

Combats his voyage on planet anew!! 

Cajole each slice of wit, every grain of frown, 

How a mother blessed him with crown! 

Giver is she who gives it all, 

Beyond the visions of big or small, 

Nestle each vein in curved arm, 

Yonder is the saviour of little heart! 

Here comes winged time, 

Singing it's theory of altered clime, 

Sifting 'innocent smiles' deep within, 

Commanding 'little hands' to now give 

Will you shed a pinch of youth, my child? 

For decrepit who admires you with pride. 

Will your fleshed nerves crumble? 

For thou creator, when in deep slumber.

Reviews

[Shaylynn H.]

I made this review template so that I could easily and efficiently give feedback to other writer's, since there's so many pieces and so little time in the day (or so I'm told) here you go. Feel free to add me and ask for reviews!

Box 1=Awesome | Box 2 =Okay | Box 3 =Could Use Work | Box 4 =No So Great |

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Not Applicable may be chosen if it's a poem and not a short story, or if the category is not to my liking for personal reasons. If this is chosen I will simply leave the answer blank. I will try to be as unbiased as possibly when reviewing your work and try to keep it to the "normal" standards when reading a piece. I am reading this more as a person with an interest in reading than a person in writing. Some times though my grammatical sense will pop up ahead of my enjoyment. I encourage every one I meet to keep writing, even if it doesn't go anywhere I find it very important to pursue fiction as a means of life. This is solely based on my opinion but I will try to give advice to the best of my ability/knowledge. Good luck writing!

Side note for spelling: Did you mean something else for "enroach"?

Additional Comments: Nicely written.

[Kajal Gulabani]

Thank you very much. "Enroach" was a spelling mistake. Something I overlooked in the excitement of writing. Thank you for pointing it out. :)

[KeeD]

I love how Shaylynn actually takes the time and effort to give such amazing constructive reviews. Kudos :)

[Kajal Gulabani]

I so very much agree Keegan..

[Eric Cox]

Unique style flows with creative imagery & tale. An excellent write. Nicely done.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the photo and the thoughts to ponder with the excellent poem.
"Cajole each slice of wit, every grain of frown,
How a mother blessed him with crown! "
Many strong statements stood out in the poem. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kajal Gulabani]

Thanks Coyote for an amazing review..

[Clayton Bardwell]

I agree with Keegan. I love the way you structure the English language. What a cute picture. Is that you as a baby? Kidding:)

[Kajal Gulabani]

Lol Clayton.. I wish I was so adorable as a kiddo.. Thanks for bringing a smile on my face (as usual)

[KeeD]

You have excellent control over the English Language even though we live in a country where the language isn't appreciated as much as it should be. I liked the poem a lot, good write.

[Kajal Gulabani]

Thanks a tonne.. Loved ur review(as always).. U made my weekend :)

[KeeD]

:)

[kelvin]

Nicely written read here in a tribute of sense to the one and only as before he done his great deed even now in our modern days he does great things. Could you imagine a world without him, we think things are bad now I wouldn't want to live in it as always keep writing fellow writer.

[Ahmad Cox]

This is an amazingly and beautiful empathetic look at Mother Mary just before Jesus was born.

[Frieda P]

What an original piece of work, this blew me away! Love the pic. Great stuff, kudos.

[Kajal Gulabani]

Thanks :)

[Jem Sagcal]

The rhyming was perfection. I loved the rhythm in each stanza. Beautiful.

[Kajal Gulabani]

Thank you so much.