A woman named Gormless

Some of the most important people in your life will have a pet name...

Go-o-ormless~

 

What is that vile smell, pouring in from my kitchen?

Rotten flesh, dipped in a jar of vinegar?

 

WELL

 

it’s none other than Gormless!

She has arrived on the most bitter of days,

dragging her lifeless body up my drive, to my door,

 

“Ding-Dong!”

 

“Alright, Liz?” mother greets with a smile.

The woman, with greys in her hair matches the gesture, scraping her feet onto the welcome mat. “Still dying my hair?” she queries.

 

I pause in my seat - now who could that be?

Grab the shovel, take aim for the head; they have arrived!

 

OH NO WAIT

 

it’s just Gormless.

A humble, chip-shop lady at heart; working part time as a dinner lady

in my old secondary school.

So, that’s the vinegar I smell...

 

SNIFF;

 

the rotting flesh is just her :)

 

 

“Bye, Gormless,” I say with a grin, noticing her headwear I add, “nice hat”

She grins her rotten teeth onto me. “Aw, thank you”

 

Then she takes her smell outside.

 

 

Author's Note

Literally a two minute, unedited and naff poem before I retire to my chambers for the night. This is dedicated to my mam's oldest friend, and my adopted auntie whom I bully constantly XD Her pet name is "Gormless" find out where she lives, send her letters/emails, tell me to pass the message on; just call her Gormless, mortals! :D

Reviews

[Latsyric]

And HOW could anyone hate this poem?

Exactly.

[Short.Nerd]

Amazing! (: THis was a bit strange, but strange is epically awesome! Love it!

[Katharine Eilene]

AWESOME! Please continue making these kinds of poems. It's nice to have something to read with humor in mind.
Great read.

[Color of the Iris]

Ha ha ha ha, that was hilarious!!! I love this poem, it was absolutely humoring to me...! I had to reread it though because I loved it so much! 1000000/100 :)

[OT]

hahaha this was great!! you make such strange things so plausible and poetic haha a truly creative mind you have their behind the neon insignia!!

[GreenSkeleton16]

that was the weirdest thing Ive read...in awhile...lol interesting.

[E.H. Monroe]

I feel like I just smoked dust.
It was a nursery rhyme for a rehab of nutcases.

What longer piece of yours should I tackle?
your style is a mixture of decaying children and candy canes.

any requests?

[Hush Hush]

hahaha this is well funny! I like it a lot...'it's none other than Gormless!' this line makes me giggle so much :D well done

[Tony]

Sick and Wrong.
pretty good!

[how.girls.get.clean]

EEPPPPIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCC i really liked it.