Inner Demon

This is a very personal poem for all, written to capture and understand the demon in us all.

The wind whispers my name as it tears this scorched land.

Barren and desolate, dried to nothing but sand,

This place, it seethes with emptiness and fear,

Locking its grip, taking all I hold dear.

 

I feel the freedom so near to my face,

Yet I see nothing but hate in this place.

This stark and scorched wasteland, winds forever more.

This barren, trapped wasteland holds no door

To the answers I seek for this mystery of mine.

In this cold barren place; its within my mind that I'm confined.

 

Pale green leaves shiver in the crisp breeze of time

From their green colored masses,

To mere dust and ashes.

Says the prophet in me, "A sign."

 

Suddenly, all seems to pause,

As this apparent cause

Transcends from the ashes and sand.

He spoke with no voice

And I listened with no choice,

Expecting this deity to reprimand.

Awoken from ashes,

His word violently slashes

At everything I thought I knew.

His words, like a dream,

Shatter all that I've seen.

No. This can not be true.

 

"But too soon time invades and reminds me I have places to be,"

Said this unspeaking, unforgiving deity.

"For soon you shall see,

The horror I'll make you to be.

Farewell, I descend

To the ash I transcend.

You'll never be rid of me."

Reviews

[MarieCo214]

That is amazing, but I think you're missing one aspect about everyone's inner demons. Sometimes, our demons are not the blame. I wonder if you switched the views because like everyone else, I have inner demons too, just not like this. When I was a child, my best friends were my inner demons and my enemies were my guardian angels.
I love the demon though and your details are amazing. The rhymes and rhythm here are, in my opinion, actually better than what I had read in that "Lust and Longing" poem you wrote. I like this one better, whether older or newer. Right now, I'm not checkin', just sayin'. I'm sorry if this offends though, but another thing is that I didn't feel it as much as I could have. There's good details, a nice steady rhythm, a good flow of rhymes, except I didn't feel what was so tormenting about this demon. What does this demon make us feel? You had us see him, now have us know why we fear him.

[Lucy Kennedy]

That was a beautifuly written poem. I like where you took it too, nice work.

[Melissa Kesead]

Very dark and unforgiving. Great write!

[Amy Carrington]

This is so intense, Morgan. No wonder you won an award. I think this is my favorite of yours so far. What's the inspiration?

[Marissa]

so powerful and vivid..the inner demons cling to exposed weakness and getting power from it

[Adela Muresan]

I like the way you shown how the dvastating disapointment woke the deamon you believed to be dead.
Great poem.

A.M.

[Kaitlin W. Blaylock]

wow. This is a wonderful piece. It's filled with power and emotion.

[The Mad Prophet]

Very nice, very powerful. This is well written, and very interesting.

[Fran Marie]

I feel the freedom so near to my face,

But I see nothing but hate in this place.

This stark and scortched wasteland, winds forever more.

This barren, trapped wasteland holds no door


A powerful piece of creative writing of the Demon within

great format with wonderful flowing rhyme,exquisitely penned

THanks for submitting to the MasQuerade Ball ConTesT~Fran Marie

[dilettante1890]

Was this from the pov of a character that you created?

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wickedly compelling work... those voices in our head constantly reminding us of our mistakes, you brought the demon to life with you vivid description.