Heart of Gold

I looked at your face again today
wasn't as pretty as before
it was just the hook that reeled me in
to get me to know you more
i mean sure your a beauty
in i could care less
cause i found something better
i found who you are
in its leading me to want more

you could be some ugly hag
in i wouldn't care
for you have a heart of gold
So how would you like another
I'll rip mine right out
just to give it to you forever to hold

Reviews

[The Last Poetic King]

Yeah I read this before too man, it's good. I enjoyed it. Keep up the work.

[Jason Knight]

The overall message was something so clever, and it's all in the surface, it's all right there. Most guys look for appearance, and the rest don't care, but it's the beauty withing that sparks some flares.

The rhythm is uncertain, and some parts don't make much sense, and some words need to be added or taken out. This one makes the words "Over-easy" come to my head for some reason.
~Jason Knight

[Prateeksha Khot]

beauty is within, really. great poem keep up

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i adore this, YOU have a heart of gold because you say that beauty does not matter as long as she has a heart of gold. not many guys see it that way, unfortunately

[c.m.]

Beautiful. Not mayn guys out there would say "hey, you could be some ugly hag and I'd still love you." I love the message in your words and the overall meaning. Very nice work.

[Lilly]

Beautiful poem. I agree that the rythym is slightly off but I think that is only because maybe some words need to be added or changed - like in the lines "in i could care less" and "in its leading me to want more" maybe the word 'and' would be better - or if you want that 'in' sound it should be written 'n' (i think - you might want to check that :] ) and for the line "So how would like another" the addition of the word 'you' so it read "So how would you like another" would make that line flow better.
Just some suggestions..
Also I love th first four lines of this poem - beautiful.

[Keevan]

lovely poem =-) to me, the rythem was a little off, but all in all, wonderful poem.

[Moth Phoenix]

Great poem :]
I like the last two lines of it.
Has truly deep meaning as how not to be shallow :]
Great job!!!