It hurts so much

I won't mince words or try to sugar coat
My heart's been stompped, and it broke
I swear I never thought this could be me
I wish i had a time machine so 12 year old me could see
Me devastated and weeping over a boy
When Instead, I should be jumping in joy
Because he never loved me and I found out when I did
So I blocked him from my life and I'm finally free.
But I can't stop myself from crying sometimes when i think
About the moments when I felt like, this boat could never sink
Like he loved me too much to let me go
And I dreamed up a future built of legos
Now all I see is black, and emptiness
It kills me to see him but I don't love him less
Why? What is wrong with me? Must I go through this again?
I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over without a single gain.
I just wish I could forget him already
I could see him in the hall and not feel unsteady.
I could watch him laugh and my heart won't break.
I wonder if it'll ever happen and how long it'll take.
Because I don't think I have any tears left to cry.
And I'm tired of asking my friends why.
I deceive myself into thinking "maybe he loves me."
When it is so clear that he doesn't know what love is.
I just wish I was finally over him, and done with all this.
And I can once again smile, be happy and at peace.

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

Wow. I loved the rhyme. You have narrated a tale and journey of your emotions down your memory lane.