The Heist

The final chapter

 

 

(R)alphie is Muffin, 

(H)aresh Daswani is Gigo http://www.writerscafe.org/link/302620/

(J) James Reider is Macho http://www.writerscafe.org/link/302621/

 

 

Saturday 10:19 pm

The Doo Drop-Inn

 

So much on my mind…mm-uh sigh. I just paid 1500 dollars for a call girl to pleasure my partner in crime. I really do not believe that we have money to waste especially when it comes to the reason for this heist is women anyway… and as for now, it’s not going as planned. If anyone need pleasuring it was I; I am a little nervous about Naomi.

 

 Really, really worried because Gigo didn’t return with any footage of the bank and he doesn’t know where he left the packages. Now I am confused, it seems if things are destine to go wrong after all that planning. The distraction, which we like to call the Chaos maker, will create a very noble bomb blast that will rattle windows and scare the s**t out of people, miles around. My concern is I don’t know where the materials are, and if they are by the deposit room then it’s life in prison.  How could Gigo do this crap, how could he? He’s the team leader and now I feel as if he is deliberately going to making us fail. That ole, honor among thieves riff. 

 

And of course out of this, we don’t know if the guards changed, whether they were males or females, big or small frame…and for the sake of Macho, if there was a sexy female guard, we could have more trouble…ah, maybe this one tonight will cure him. Although, redheads are a fiery breed of hot tamales that can walk you through the “gates of hell” and with their passion can unlock your soul and enter it and of course you not be the wiser. The touch of their fingertips fills your sacks with so much liquid pleasure that dominion’s becomes the controlling forces of your release. In addition, if they kiss you, you become a slave to their evil intent, but call girls don’t do that, they don’t kiss…relieved.

 

I can’t drink tonight, it seems I’m too pissed to deal with this stuff, how about we meet tomorrow at noon at the warehouse to synchronize our watches and for the timeline of the robbery. Night all.

 

Sunday Morning

 

I was awakening from my sleep 7 times in the course of the night, and each time Naomi was in the middle of it. I thought I finally had it under control but, needless to say I thought wrong. The first time she was hugging me. The second, she kissed me. The third, her hands were under my shirt, forth in my pockets, fifth taking off my shirt and pants, sixth ripping my underwear and seventh playing hide-go-seek. I was inundated by her powerful presence and it’s really starting to worry me.

 

I hope that taken a cool shower would revive me.

 

Sunday Noon

Warehouse

After starring at our make shift bank, the thought of where the distractions Gigo was too deliver were now hiding. The more I thought the more irritated I became and then I asked a dumb question. 

“Gigo, can you please think about what you did with the supplies at the bank…I really need you to focus on this rather mundane scenario and realize the repercussions that will bestow us.”

 

Silence filled the room, as I would have figured it would.

 

Tomorrow I figure that the robbery should happen at the height of the day, let’s say 10:15 am. At 10:00 am, I’ll enter the bank and request an appointment with MS. Plausure. At 10:05, I will ask her about my deposit and if I am now a member of this bank. At 10:10, Gigo will approach MS. Plausure to find his wallet, and I will accompany them down the corridor. At 10:15, I will set the distraction off which will clue Macho to take down the guards.

Note: at 10:22, the camera’s come back on line so we need to be out the door and at 10:22:30 Gigo will detonate the bomb.

 

 

Monday Morning 10:00 am

Bank

 

Although tab bit nervous, I enter the bank with a greeting smile. As waltz past each guard, they were returning the smile. I couldn’t help thinking what they would be thinking in 22 minutes but what the heck, a smile will suffice. I could see Naomi as I walked towards the office area; see waved reputably. 

“Mr. Richards, please come here.” She said excitedly

I gracefully walk to Naomi’s office and entered. “Yes, Ms. Plausures” I said enthusiastically “Please call me Charles” in hopes to drop the formal appeal.

“Oh, sure Charles, you can call me Naomi” she said with a warm gesture

“I called you in here because the bank has agreed to accept your generous deposit effective immediately. I hope that your stay with our institution is a long one.”

“Thank you Naomi that is great news…thank you”

“Charles, I was really surprised the other day when I reviewed the bank video tapes. It seems that I’m not the only one who thought you were a dashing…seems many women were focusing in on you and found you quite becoming.” She said with much emotion.

“I’m honored, Naomi, I had no idea that any women at this stage of my life would find me fascinating…” I said, quite surprisingly

 

Naomi approached me, and stopped within inches of my face. I could smell her fragrance as it whirled around my nose, clinging to my clothing and skin. Her angelic eyes of blue gripped my mobility as my heart began to race. Naomi’s flush cheeks and lips cause me to fumble my speech, to prevent embarrassment I chose not to speak.

 

I wanted her as my eyes darted down to the bright blue blouse that restrained her breast. I couldn’t believe how perky these breast were as they populated her upper chest. She followed my eyes and smiled. Her sweet sexy voice broke the silence and became music to my ears.

“See something you like and possible you might wanted.” She said while reaching for my hand

I just smiled as I trembled inside.

“I’m not going to bite you, well not yet,” she said with a playful tone

 

Naomi reached her thin fingers on to the clasps that secure my shirt, and then began to twist each one until the folds of the shirt hung free. In a whisking way, she drops the shirt to the floor as her fingertips travelled back towards my sturdily erected n*****s while she continuously teases my chest.

Her open hand came to rest on my belt as the instantaneously sexual rush left me hypnotized.  Naomi closed her hand and began to tug when…

 

“Boom, boom, boom” an intense shockwave shook the building.

Naomi screamed as I stumble for my senses. The door flung open quickly, breaking the glass and ripping the closed venetian blinds as they bent and twisted in all direction.

I could not help but thinking, Gigo you jerk, what the hell you doing, although the clock displayed 10:10 am.

Two rather large men pushed forward and hit me with their rifle butt, then grabbed Naomi and me. One of the men slammed me into the wall as a hint not to try anything but I did. I started to retaliate as both men clocked the side of my head. Naomi continued to scream, as she watched the blood ooze from my head. 

I was dragged down a hallway towards the back of the bank. After being thrown into a crowded room with many bank customers and Naomi crying at my feet, another explosion rocked the Smokey bank air.  I could feel my consciousness slipping away as several thoughts ran through my mind…

 

 

Macho, although a new friend to me, he had many talents that were unknown to me but I remembered him saying he was a member of the Special Forces. Right now, I sure could use your special forces because my life is fading fast. He always wants to be the hero…well I wish he be my hero now…

 

Where did Gigo leave the explosives? I know he always used his brain wisely so where would he put them in his hyper-state of reality…Oh S**T…The vent!

I draped my body over Naomi and pushed the button on the remote…an extremely loud boom encompassed the bank as my eyes became heavy and I drifted out of mind….

 

 

"This was for Muffin's good, this was for Muffin's good", his plans seem to shift as he committed the biggest blunder, getting to attached to Ms. Pleasure. As soon as he entered the bank, Macho and I noticed that he was bound to f**k up. It was obvious, and he was too open. He definitely did not seem like he can get it done anymore. He was a liability, and we had to get this job done.

Macho and I have decided, let Muffin be one of the victims, but leave him unconscious at best. The cops will let him off scott free, and when he gets back to us with his temper, he will understand one important detail, Ms. Pleasure would have fallen in love with him for his heroism, our objective, plus his, would have been met.

What I really planted were sonic noise. They reverberate on the posts and other parts of the building structure, making it seem like a huge bomb blew up, but throughout the shake and chaos and panic, it became very easy to disarm the guards, smoke out all those who are hidden, and dump them all fast into the room Macho has suggested. We were fast and precise, I was quite numb and dulled, emotions are not wanted in these situations, Macho knows this as being part of special forces, I knew this after having to deal with so many idiots calling me in a call center.

I proceed to the vault, numb and frozen, Muffin is on the lap of Ms. Pleasure, he is in heaven without realizing it. The vault opens as I typed in the code, and Macho and I proceed to unload the stash to the bank lobby, where Macho and I will place our detonation system. We need to make sure the explosion is strong enough to cave the lobby in, but not too strong to hurt all the people in the room. They are so scared with the entire chaos none of them would dare move out, except for one confused security officer.

"What the heck are you guys doing? Are you out of your mind? Of all the places you would have to rob, why us?" He asked, totally puzzled with our choice, I guess everyone is.

"This is our objective, shut up and get back to the room unless you want to become casualty", he listens, and I stare at Macho, it is his turn to shine.

 

“Don’t be a fucken hero.” I shout while studying the room with cold eyes. “No one here will be hurt. This is our little war on alternative parenthood.”

“You’re sick and you’re a damn fool.” The old man that reeked of creamed corn said.

“Aye? And what is your purpose in life, pops? Are you meant to guard an infinite number of unborn children? Then fight the abortion clinics, fight the morning after pill, but pops, don’t fight us.”

A younger guard was creeping around the rear of me. I could hear him sliding around on the floor behind the futon in this little office. I take a silent step back as he creeps his head around the corner of the tiny couch.

“Hello.” I greet him through a friendly grin and plant my boot in his mouth. Blood splatters the wall and I think I heard a few teeth clank against the floor as well. Hero kid is sleeping like a baby.

“Anyone else want to taste my boot?” Everyone in the room moves and cowards in the back corner. I momentarily worry about Muffin. Gigo and I decided to take him out of the game early. We didn’t realize that Ms. Plausure, unbelievable, had a thing for him as well. At least there can be one happy ending in this whole mess. One happy ending, I smile as I realize it is not only a pun, but not a self inflicted happy ending either. Maybe Naomi can take care of Muffin’s “finances” from now on.

Gigo conducts our “secret knock” on the door and I let him in. “All set?” I ask.

“Right as rain. Let’s get the f**k out of here.”

“I would suggest that each and every one of you remain in this room till you here the boom. Heh, I’m a poet and didn’t know it. Anyone leaves and you may be blown to bits along with a billion babies.”

Gigo and I back out the door and jet for the lobby. A beautiful young customer is entering as we exit, proving that the outside world is oblivious to what is going on in here. I shove her into Gigo’s arms and push through the doors to the outside world.

We pass through the door and into the blasting sun of the outside world. Gigo begins to count “Five, four, three, two, one, get down!”

“BOOM!”

Pieces of debris go flying past us on either side. I feel something wet smack me in the back of the neck. I reach back and start slapping at the goo. “Oh dear! Aww f**k! I’m hit! Christ, Gigo, I’m hit!” I get up and head for the fountain in the parking lot of the Explorers Café. I dive in and start rinsing the back of my neck. “This stuff is insoluble!” I shout above panicked screams. “Awwwwww F**K ME! This is so disgusting!”

Gigo stumbles to his feet and then collapses again. Apparently he is stuck in a fit of laughter. “F**k you, Gigo, you f**k! Who’s idea was this? Lot’s rob a fucken sperm bank! Fucken brilliant. You escape un-fucken-wounded and here I am with a fucken glob of goo on the back of my fucken neck. What’s worse you ask? We destroyed in such a way that I will never find out who’s it is! F**k! Who’s is it? Random guy goo on the back of my neck! Fucken sick.”

All the training I had received in the Army Rangers; I can amputate my own leg if need be. I can swallow a cyanide pill and take my own life if captured. They never, ever, EVER trained me to deal with someone elses sperm on any part of my body. That’s what the cyanide pill is for. Wish I had one. I can’t deal with this. I can’t, I remove my taser from it’s belt clip and zap myself just beneath my rib cage. Gigo rolling around on the sidewalk in an uncontrollable fit of laughter is the last thing I see as I fall face first into the fountain. All this for a mother f*****g sperm bank.

Author's Note

We hope you enjoyed our novel

Reviews

[Jason Nuciola]

i love it

[Annalisa]

Ralphy, Ralphy, Ralphy. I have missed you and your entertaining writing. This was hilarious... There were some tense issues throughout the piece, but that is a small and easy fix to make. Other than that this was perfect. It'll be fun catching up on what you've written since I've been awol.

:)

[Angela]

Hahahaha!!! Way cool guys. This was awesome. I had started to wonder about the way things were being set into play. I can see where you were going after all. A thought had crossed my mind about a sperm bank, but I must admit I was taken by surprise. Great Job guys. I enjoyed this immensly!!

[DarkIriswriter]

that was so hilarious I had to keep reading.Each one of your incerpts were to the T and Z of your personality.I could tell the way it was written each of you placed something of yourself into the characters.I loved it!

sara

[Pj]

Hahaha!!!! This is so awesome- I can't stop laughing! A sperm bank! It really caught me by surprise!!! I was certainly not disappointed- you blokes are hilarious! :D

Really wonderful! It all came together so brilliantly! :D Can't praise it enough lol

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Gross. So who did that?i thought they were suppose to get money? i think this is more of a guy's story. but.....you have a way with words. very descriptive and you write better then some published writers. good job!!

[J. James Reider]

I wonder if anyone figured this out before we reached this point?

I had a blast. These three characters had the libido of teenagers... hehe...

Still might get that wolf tattoo... yeah... a wolf, smoking a cigarrette, holding a flask with one of those sex crazed look in his eyes... haha

[Ralphy]

Yes, You should have been sent to an insane Asylum. Haresh, Gigo is a head case...and the writing are great but His obsessions with sperms is unbelievable�

Man, this came out too hilarious! Great job to Ralphy and Jeff. I was laughing like heck in Jeff's finale. Just as how it was supposed to be :)