The Show

The Show

A Poem by Bala Gorthi

This head looks up above to shoot
To The Savior a warm salute
This is how my respect I show
Unique are ways I take to bow

I lay flat and stamp a tight kiss
That kiss is an exotic bliss
The land accepts it, this I know
Unique are ways I take to bow

The flag shines high, a mark of pride
Its charming beauty equals bride
The head hand salute brings my glow
Unique are ways I take to bow

Child's innocence brings a big smile
And my thin lips stretch a good mile
Showers of kisses make my show
Unique are ways I take to bow

© 2017 Bala Gorthi


Author's Note

Bala Gorthi
An experimental piece in Kyrielle form

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Another very well written experimental piece.

You are pushing the boundaries of your poetic knowledge with each passing poem. I had to familiarise myself with the format of a Kyrielle.

It is a very well executed piece. One small note: your second line has nine syllables.....sa-vi-or is a three syllable word.

Otherwise, a neatly designed and formulated poem. Nicely done, Bala.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your visit and very kind words, Doodley. I appreciate your observation. But I read Sav.. read more



Reviews

Not familiar with this form, but your rhyme & rhythm are banging on this one. I love the way you weave together many variations on "bow" . . . all the while drawing word pictures that summon the posture you're describing in our imaginations. I love the opening stanza, since I often look up & give thanks thru-out the day as I happen upon the lovely natural delights in my days (((HUGS)))

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you Margie, for your visit and appeciation. This one began with the refrain as i wondered how .. read more
I always find a great connection between feelings and words in your poetry, B ...I have learnt a lot from from your thoughts and intent behind your writings and the way you wrote this had the same impact on me. Everyone is unique in showing gratitude and the way you show it can be very well understood from this piece.
Act of bowing is a way of expression that shows how you respect different things and virtues in life. Sometimes it shows your way of conduct too.
I loved it :-) :-)
Quite different from other topics. There is so much in this to contemplate on.
Keep writing more and more on different genres of poetry. In future I will look up to your poems for my inspiration.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you Manu for visiting and encouraging with your kind words. I agree with your words. We all ha.. read more
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.
Another very well written experimental piece.

You are pushing the boundaries of your poetic knowledge with each passing poem. I had to familiarise myself with the format of a Kyrielle.

It is a very well executed piece. One small note: your second line has nine syllables.....sa-vi-or is a three syllable word.

Otherwise, a neatly designed and formulated poem. Nicely done, Bala.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your visit and very kind words, Doodley. I appreciate your observation. But I read Sav.. read more
Much too often we drown in our own agonies and glee that we completely forget that patriotism is also a love that is hidden somewhere deep down in our hearts.

Pardon me if my connotation of the poem is not accurate. But,your words revived that untold, unexpressed patriotism in me. At the same time, it made me feel ashamed realizing that as selfish as life can get, I have cocooned my love and my motherland is not inside the cocoon.

I owe you a thank for bringing back this realization. Thank you.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and appreciating this write, Fahmida. I am glad that you liked it.
I th.. read more
Fahmida Mehreen

7 Years Ago

My pleasure :)
A powerful message penned so elegantly .... you certainly did an excellent job writing this in Kyrielle form!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for visiting and leaving your precious words for me, Hebe. Your visits are always apprecia.. read more
there are many we can salute in life---those we bow to for advice or recognition for how they influence us....make us better....

really nice poem, Bala.
j.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your visit and comments, Sir.thank you for appreciating the write.
I loved how you conveyed a strong message in such a beautiful form. Kyrielle is indeed a great one. My favourite stanza has to be the first one. I liked the refrain line as well.
Nicely penned, Bala 👍

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

I'm honoured that I could be an inspiration, though it really was Richard in the first place who int.. read more
Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

That is how we all Learn and improv. Thanks to the inspiration here on the cafe.
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Indeed.....
Nicely written! I enjoyed reading this nice flowing poem. Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you for your warm visit and kind words.keep visiting, Paul.
Ahh!, that's a beauty showing patriotism, care and love...
I thought to write something for Soldiers, but I couldn't..and I found one now, happy now coz atleast I read about them...
Thank you Bala for sharing this write of your's...I enjoyed...:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

I am glad you enjoyed this piece. You are right, Surya we show our gratitude and respects in our uni.. read more
Surya

7 Years Ago

My pleasure..!!
Hello Bala : )
The Kyrielle is my favorite form. I love it when repetition is done skillfully, and the Kyrielle allows this, letting the refrain convey the nuances of each stanza.
As for this Kyrielle, I must say it fits the technical requirements quite well. There's a uniform eight syllables per line and the rhyme scheme is spot-on, even with the sight rhyme in every stanza except the third. The message is also strong and clear, with the speaker expressing his or her numerous ways of showing respect and gratitude, and the beautiful typography matching the strength of the message. The final stanza was my favorite in that it mentioned a child's innocence (I love children) and compared smiling to taking a bow ... a comparision not many would think of.

Some suggestions:
- In the first line, I suggest changing "This head" to "My head" because it makes it clearer whose head you're referring to.
- In the second line, I suggest capitalizing the word "Savior" for emphasis.

- William Liston

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bala Gorthi

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your very valued suggestions, William.
As for the first one, even I .. read more

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Added on April 15, 2017
Last Updated on April 16, 2017

Author

Bala Gorthi
Bala Gorthi

India



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I am here to share my random thoughts. For me, destiny is a matter of choice. And our Karma brings that choice.. more..

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