Smelling the Flowers From the Under

A poem about death

Laying under the flowers of sorrow

The wheel of life completed it's last spin

I'm not going to wake up tomorrow

My eternal rest is about to begin

The water is too dry to let me bloom again

Laying, wilt, but can't even feel the pain

 

 

The fragile glass is half full

Until someone drinks it

Growing my roots in the ground

As we become one

 

 

Eyes are tired, skin is sore

I fell asleep in the cold

No matter how tight I hold on to life

It slipped away like hourglass's sand

As my time is running out

Smelling the flowers from the under    

As they are replaced again

 

Reviews

[Alicia Beavis]

Great use of imagery and symbolism in this piece.

For me, I felt like either the first and third stanza's should or they shouldn't rhyme just because they'd link better that way. However, this is just personal opinion and I did quite enjoy it the way it is.

[Celestial Witch Child]

"Growing roots in the ground as we become one"... Amazing. It's so sad, yet peaceful- almost tranquil. Wonderful and unique take on such a commonly abused topic. (:

[Balance]

Hey Muse! well i dont think the rain will help cause i said:
"The water is too dry to let me bloom again"

[Muse]

what a melancholy write. The flowers may never smile again. :(
if only heaven could rain down some life giving rain and sunshine...maybe you'll feel like breathing again....

[j]

התיאורים, הביטויים והרעיון הכללי מדהים.
כמה בעיות בדקדוק אבל לא משהו שאי אפשר להתגבר עליו.
מדהים, לסיכום.

[Btwixer]

Such a deep & powerful read, I like this.