A Moment of Triumph

It feels nice to be finished.

 

Never have I waited so impatiently

for something so simple as hearing my name

called out over a microphone, booming

the announcement that I’ve long waited for.

Never have I been so very nervous

for something so simple as walking

across a stage, and shaking a few hands—

all those important people, lined up there

to say ‘congratulations’ just to me…

or not just to me, but to me nonetheless.

Never has a moment seemed so long

as that moment, when I was next in line—

and what if I forget which hand to use,

or to pause and smile for the camera?

Never have I been so anxious to

list the many things that could go wrong

in that precious half a minute, when I

have finally achieved my

biggest goal so far, and never have I

felt so proud as the moment when I switched

that red and gray tassel to the left

and tossed my hat way up into the air!

Author's Note

I've been experimenting a lot with blank verse lately; this isn't perfect, but it's pretty close to the ten syllables per line format. I'm a bit worried I tried too hard with this one, though, so I'd like to know if it reads awkwardly.

And yeah. I'm not sure about the genre, but it seemed to fit. XD

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

HAPPY GRADUATION! This is actually an awesomely creative idea putting such a traditional rhythm to something so modern. (Not that people haven't been graduating for centuries, but think how few women have ever graduated! It's such progress!) Also I'm jealous because I can't write in iambic pentameter to save my life. You did a really good job capturing the nerves of graduation, and it's a great observation that such a huge goal is over in thirty seconds. It really took me back to my own graduation (which would be more impressive if it happened thirty years ago instead of last year, but still); you have really convincing, emotion-evoking imagery. And don't worry about the rhythm problems - even Shakespeare cheated in his sonnets and plays!

[THERISA]

Hannah, your poem captures perfectly the feelings and events surrounding one's commencement ceremonies. I don't know much about iambic pentameter, but i do know when a poem flow smoothly pass my eyes. And your poem does. There are two things, which i disliked about my own university commencement, the long hot black gown and the flashing of cameras, going off everythere. Made the mistake of looking back, after accepting my degree and got blinded. Sigh. Thank you for sharing your experiences in this poem.

[Ray Hamilton]

I found it a smooth read, well penned
Thanks for sharing Ray { Not a Poet }

[Cassie Meno]

I like how you never really specified that it was graduation but you did enough to let the reader know without directly saying it.
It doesn't read awkward, in my opinion.
You put a lot of characterization in there for a poem, like the way the narrator says the lines.
It reads kind of more like a story than an actual poem, but it's really good
= ]

[Michael Carr]

a little rough, but it's an inspiring look at graduating.
a well written piece. good job.