Dark Lullaby (revised)

First one wasnt to my liking so i took it off.. A bit better now.

Sweet dearest child,

Rest your head down to sleep

Your childhood nightmares,

Bleeding inside you, deep

 

In your aching heart,

Yearning for tenderness and love

While angels in heaven,

Guard you from above

 

Watching over you

Through a blackened midnight sky

No one will hurt you anymore

Please stop your tearful cry

 

Let your suffering shatter

Into shards of broken glass

For this painful memory of Daddy

Hurting you, will be his last

 

Drowning in crimson regret

You have done no wrong

No longer in the shadows

Where you have lived for so long

 

Let this dark lullaby,

Dry your swollen eyes

Enshroud yourself in blissful dreams

Beaneath a night of starry skies

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Ralphy]

Rayne, love the mother's assurance of the fathers wicket deeds are no more and the passion she has in cradling and comforting the child. Very sad, but I can envision the mother's worries and the child's tears. Nice write.

[Nik Dendera]

Tragic. But so very hauntingly beautiful.

Really loved this one, have to say, I think its one of your best!!

[Y.F.]

I'm not sure if I've read the first revision, so I can't compare the two, but if it's even half as good as this one you should have kept it on the site.
The way you've described the inner world of a child, and through a third person's prospective, is amazing.
There's something very pure about this one, as pure as an actual soul of a child.
But this pure world is hurting - it hurts in a pure way, but it still hurts, and this hurt is expressed by your usual superb imagery.
The rhyming is spotless as well.
Fantastic job.

[pseudonym_7]

There is just so much pain and violence which you've shrouded so well in words none of which i can say would speak of the true pain