sinking..............away

this isn't really a story it's only a thought

what happened to me?
 everything is falling apart,
 and i can see my life slipping away
into pitch darkness
it's like i'm trapped in this closed grave,
 and the more i shout for help
the more i feel dirt being shoved upon my buried grave,
i cry, i shout i fight but all in vain
as if i'm the only person alive
between corpses that flaut near the place
the scene is changing
i'm in bed awake
heart is beating
but my soul is dead.......

Author's Note

i have no idea what i just wrote
just made some corrections ;)

Reviews

[Sid]

Interesting write, I'm not sure if this is incomplete but it can be interpreted as a struggle against the darkness inside us instead of an out-worldly manifestation. You bring out the desperation very well
it's like i'm trapped in this closed grave,
and the more i shout for help
the more i feel dirt being shoved upone my burried grave,
these lines stood out for me...good write!!

[Salar Majak]

thanks sooo much :), i feel amazing that people are reading what i'm writting :D

[Sid]

My pleasure, really :)

[Nia Hope]

Wow this is really dark I really enjoyed reading this :)

[Salar Majak]

thanks, i'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Ali]

It may be like a day dream of ten thousands in Syria in the present time. Well done friend.

[Zeverin Kpai]

(smiles) towards what? and realism aside I find humor in this

[Salar Majak]

Towards something new ;)

[Chidoriflower]

This sounds like a nightmare...something close to being buried alive. Life slipping away. The thought is frightening, but strangely, I enjoyed this because I could understand most of it....this is excellent!!!!:D

[Salar Majak]

XD i'm really glad you could relate to it and that you enjoyed it, thanks for reading

[Chidoriflower]

ANYTIME!! :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Being traumatized as a witness to the violence you've seen digs a grave in your heart. To the violence being perpetrated on your country, on your people, on your soul. It's not an easy thing. Take care Aurora. May you find your way to peace.

[Salar Majak]

thank you :). may we all find our way to peace some day

[Avinash]

just a hug :) for u ...hope that helps :)

[Salar Majak]

thanks, it was just something i wrote like a year ago :)

[Balkaran Sidhu]

nice flow and rhyming...feels like it doesn't come from the heart...hope it was just for fun ..good write anyways

[Salar Majak]

XD it was just something i wrote. it was just for fun, thanks for reading

[DrD]

Perhaps you have no idea, but I do. The subtle innuendos within this work suggest a host of possibilities and permits the reader to apply it to their own experiences and make their own conclusions. In that alone it becomes marvelous and I enjoyed it very, very much.

[Salar Majak]

wow, thank you Dr D, this means alot :)