To feel, no more.......

Empty….

I feel emptiness embrace my soul

nothing less, yet nothing more…

I CAN’T feel anything!

Not pain, not joy, nor fear I hold.

Like I'm only a plant,

that eats, drinks, sleeps, and grows

 

Did I run out of feelings?

Am I only a living machine?

Is it rapped with ice now?
my empty heart I mean.

 

None of that I know,

and it makes me sick to the bone

to lay at night wide awake

thinking about what's gone,

recalling what I've done.

So I faintly close my eyes

and to my head, a gun I hold…

 

 

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

i agree with LA Lorena: although this is written amazingly well, descriptive imagery portraying despair, there's always a solution to every problem and life's always changing. similar to when you're reading a book for the first time and it's time to turn the page. you never know what is going to lay ahead of you. live in hope, hold your head high and keep raising your pen, and write. again, this is a great poem and i commend you for your bravery for sharing something so personal with us all, we have all been there at one time or another, but there's always some faint light through the darkness, please remember that :)

[Salar Majak]

aww thank you sooo very much for this :)

[ms. barrie]

you're very welcome :)

[Pritesh]

The topsy-turvy nature of life makes one usually habitant of bearings, but unfortunately some ends with 'coup de grace'.To prognosticate circumstances instinctly ever proves worse but to be determined and will to survive fittest triumphs.Your piece beckons emotional appeal and expresses coercing fact of our life.You fab-ly narrated the agony and the solitude that one suffers.Quality! Keep writing.:-D

[Salar Majak]

thanks sooooo much for your kind words :D i'm glad you like it :D

[Richard Man]

A teenager's life is full of s**t even when their world is generally sunny and rosy. Your world is flame-blood red-hot and the plumes of acrid smoke darken each day so you are justly allowed to vomit your anger. However take a brief moment and plant a seed of hope in the soil of your heart. Deep love from another place and another time.

[Salar Majak]

did i tell you how much i love your reviews?! thanks alot

[DIVYA]

If only we could feel something...anyhting...it wudn't be so bad isn't it! Beautifully rendered!

[Salar Majak]

thanks :) i'm glad you like it, really

[LA Lorena]

the last line should read "and pray for brighter tomorrows".

You are so young to have such despondent thoughts as these. Adolescence is such a confusing time, especially for girls. It does get better, and easier. You write so well, I wish only that one day you will write of happier thoughts.

[Salar Majak]

thanks, i wish that too, but hey i will!

[Siren]

Great write.
"Did I run out of feelings?
Am I only a living machine?"
That is a perfect expression of how we all feel sometimes. I loved it.

[Salar Majak]

thnaks alot!!!

[DrD]

I don't like dark poetry but under your conditions it becomes understandable. Very well constructed. It's "wrapped" with ice now . . . .
I like it, mainly because it's well structured and clearly stated.

[Salar Majak]

thanks Dr.D i'll try to fix the poetry direction ;)

[Richard Man]

You are lucky to have two guardian angels Dr D and me!

[de_maruf]

fine

[Lozzie]

:/ i often feel like that... Numb... the word just passes and you really don't care what happens partly because you do not care and partyly because it feels like you have nothing left and there is no point changing what is around you...

Anyway...nice descriptions :)

[Salar Majak]

yeah, that is exactly what i mean, thanks

[Wolfwind]

Every step forward in our lives, no matter how dark or light it is upon the pathways which we walk, all are lessons that we need, in order to carry us to the place where our dreams and wishes see as our goal. While, times may seem bleak, and the shadows compress upon our very souls, remember that your are important to others, even if they appear far away.
Personally, I think you're a wonderful soul, with blossoming talent. The world would be a far dimmer place if you we're not in it. =) You live through dangers every day that most people don't. That makes you stronger, even if it does include more fear, but that fear is a motivator to keep walking forward, so some day, that fear will be a distant memory.

It's good to write about what you feel though. =)

Aaron

[Salar Majak]

thanks Aaron :) for your amazing words