Disco

from a memory of how it was

Pretty little butterflies

dancing in the light,

with escorts bold 

and brooding

waiting out the night;

like moths they are,

like moths drawn to a flame,

with ice cold eyes

and lustful lips

that never ask your name.

Reviews

[Blue]

Oh my, this is one good poem! I love the similes and metaphors and the ending line "that never ask your name." It rather puts an abrupt stop to a poem that I wish were longer, but it's effective as it stays in the mind, making me think and think. Well done!

[terry smith]

Yep,I know her...well done! :)

[Relic]

The casanova on the dance floor trying his best to be John Travolta is what I remember about disco. Your metaphors are excellent in this. Those cold eyes that scanned their targets were always too selfish to me. It was about capturing the butterfly and using it.

Nice work.

[Devons]

An appropriately dance-like rhyme and structure gently plays this poem's little tune. It almost begins to seem romantic, but there is a cold shaft of reality gleaming through it which is made the more effective by its subtlety. There is more to it than meets the eye, in effect. It almost seems as if it is simply charm, but it deceives to please or vice versa. The contrast between the male and female counterparts comes out like 'slugs and snails' and 'sugar and spice' with the moths and butterflies filling the metaphoric roles. This is just how these ostensibly innocent events really are - a facade. And perhaps a more disturbing one more often than we care to accept.
The motif and concept of the moths and butterflies is a great one. The final line is very telling.
Pretty good stuff.

[Gee]

Oh my,reading this I guess I was one of those moths.No need to go out anymore with Internet dating,I suppose.Havent been clubbing for many moons now but don't suppose much has changed.Enjoyed the read

[ANTO]

I don't think it's changed that much Beccy. The sinister in this is positively dripping like the drool from these 'night-suitors' mouths at the sight of their prey.
Excellent piece.

Nice to see you again dear friend.
hugs

[Tom]

I was 'taken in' many's a time by those pretty little butterflies ?

Nicely and nostalgically penned Beccy !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

those damn moths....all they want is the physical...and in the end leave butterflies with broken wings and broken hearts.
always loved dancing---and in that era...was often on the floor with women with whom i never exchanged names...just a dance or two and a nod.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. This talks about an era that shaped generations in fun and good times consumed with all the trappings. Some survived and some were burnt by it. I think we as humans has to go through stages to reach the one we like or be comfortable with or until we learn hard lessons. An excellent one Beccy....:).....

[1VJ]

I've never been to a disco myself, but we have a disco ball for fun. Was quite the crazed era, makes one want to Watusi!