Unwillingly In Love

Unwillingly In Love

A Poem by Miss Marie Riorden.
"

Love is such a b***h to me :/

"

My heart is caught up in my throat

And the butterflies want to stay afloat

Upon you I will unwillingly dote

These guilty words that I have wrote

 

And the tender words you have spoke

Have left my heart awaringly awoke

So please don't tell me this is a twisted joke

If so, my heart may be on hate's choke

 

My feelings being in a confusing whirl

But I know all I am is a stupid girl

Whose heart is like a flower's opening furl

That'll leave in it's wake a hapless twirl

 

In a confused mess I do now sit

In my mind's eye, every light is lit

I feel light-headed, is this legit?

Should I be feeling this way, is this it?

 

I'm so confused what should I do?

Are my feelings supposed to arise out of the blue?

Maybe they aren't right, maybe not true?

My mind refuses to belive, but I might think it's true too

 

Shall I just sit here, awondering what to say

Waiting for that one thing, a very special day

And maybe said in my utter dismay

Would I actually be happy? A little too gay ?

 

You tell to me what to think

When I know my emotions are over the brink

Shall I ever go completely in sync

Or just lie to him with my cheeks completely pink

© 2011 Miss Marie Riorden.


Author's Note

Miss Marie Riorden.
Aiii , I hate this feeling so much , but I can't deny it

My Review

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Featured Review

Enjoyed:
1) "Have left my heart awaringly awoke" Unique phrase and sound.
2) "You tell to me what to think" Shifts the tone of poem in a good way.
3) "Or just lie to him with my cheeks completely pink" Enjoy the rhythm in this last line.

Could change:
1) "If so, my heart may be on hate's choke" The phrase "hate's choke" sounds a bit awkward to me when I say it out loud.
2) "In a confused mess I do now sit" You could simplify this to "In a confused mess I sit" Maybe the phrase "confused mess" could improved upon in its aesthetic. My gut's telling me something about its sounds that's a bit awkward.
3)" Shall I just sit here, awondering what to say" The word "awondering" kinda threw me off. I think it is about the tone of it in relation to the rest of the poem.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Enjoyed:
1) "Have left my heart awaringly awoke" Unique phrase and sound.
2) "You tell to me what to think" Shifts the tone of poem in a good way.
3) "Or just lie to him with my cheeks completely pink" Enjoy the rhythm in this last line.

Could change:
1) "If so, my heart may be on hate's choke" The phrase "hate's choke" sounds a bit awkward to me when I say it out loud.
2) "In a confused mess I do now sit" You could simplify this to "In a confused mess I sit" Maybe the phrase "confused mess" could improved upon in its aesthetic. My gut's telling me something about its sounds that's a bit awkward.
3)" Shall I just sit here, awondering what to say" The word "awondering" kinda threw me off. I think it is about the tone of it in relation to the rest of the poem.



Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 23, 2011
Last Updated on June 23, 2011

Author

Miss Marie Riorden.
Miss Marie Riorden.

Remember, KY



About
I'm going to address this right now. I do take Read Requests, but that DOES NOT mean you need to RR me everything you write. And I do not read stories unless it's of my own free-will. So do not RR the.. more..

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