Captain Kirk

Space, the final frontier.....or so the story goes. Here's the REAL goings on aboard the Starship Enterprise.....

Captain Kirk.

Captain Kirk, he's such a jerk, his trousers down his boots,
Overweight, wears tight shirts and even dyes his roots,
The entire crew, they even knew, they'd hear it from old Scotty,
His incontinence was not new, you'd find him on his Potty.

I watch the show, but still don't know, the introduction blog,
One moment he is Captain Kirk, the next he's Captain Slog,
 Uhura has that lollipop, stuck deep inside her ear,
Has she even tasted it, it's still unwrapped I fear?

I've seen the Klingons all en-masse, they are a dreaded curse,
The ones I saw on Kirkies' a*s, his cling-ons are much worse,
And Mister Spock his trusted friend, so calm and quite the smarty,
Got the call, to throw a ball, an inter-stellar party.

 Romulans, Andorans and Bajorans too,
Invited to the party, with the Captains' crew,
All shapes and different sizes and colors came that night,
Some had used disguises, so as not to give a fright.

The Galactic party this year, was crashed by Kirkies' fans,
They emptied fridges stacked with beer, 'cause they were all Vul-cans,
The Ship got thrashed, nearly crashed, it ended before brekkie,
There is no place, like outer space, to party like a Trekkie.

Jim would never weary, of the question that was said,
It was a funny query, "Why the third ear on your head?"
He started and he counted and made it very clear,
"One and two", then pointed, "Space, the final front-ear!"

Author's Note

In case you didn't get my pun on "Vul-cans", this is a play on "Full cans". Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!

Reviews

[Marie]

Yes, I enjoyed it very much. It was quite funny, though I do't like to see Captain Kirk maligned, nor any of the Star Trek crew...

[Willard Wells]

I am left speechless to some degree. Funny stuff and great word play. Only thing you missed was the expendable crew member in the red Tunic. Great fun write and thanks for sharing.