He was Blood

This is an interesting piece. It has an unusual rythmn,and an insane type of style all it's own. That is just my opinion though. He was blood hahaha!

 

 

He was too fragile for his own good.

He was so shy, and it was way too easy.

Oh his blood rushed away screaming and

oh his existence disappeared.

He was fragile and that was his downfall.

I have his blood on my hands and

a twisted grin on my face.

It was so fun to hear him beg for mercy.

Seeing him suffer made me hunger for more.

He was innocent and a gorgeous corpse on the ground.

He was too fragile for his own good.

He was so shy, and it was way to easy.

Oh his blood rushed away screaming and

oh his existence disappeared.

He was fragile and that was his downfall.

I have his blood on my hands and

a twisted grin on my face.

It was so fun to hear him beg for mercy.

Seeing him suffer made me hunger for more.

He was innocent and a splendid cadaver on the earth.

That made my bloodlust rise and

Oh the terror he expressed was and

Oh the trepidation he must have felt.

The blood-curtailing wail made me cackle.

Oh the scream made the flame rise.

"Despair my young friend for

the world hath come to an end."

It’s hopeless now and death has arrived.

He is waiting and

Anticipating for a cry that

Awaits The Darkness.

The cry of agony that will

Make the desert train

"Fly like a bat out of Hell"

Gone like yesterday.

Gone like the souls who

Vanished from the plane.

He was blood.

He was blood.

HE WAS BLOOD!!!

Author's Note

Just give me anything you have about this poem. Cadaver means corpse/body, and trepidation means terror/horror/dread.
""Fly like a bat out of Hell"-Desert Train

Gone like yesterday. - Desert Train

Gone like the souls who Vanished from the plane." - Desert Train
"Oh his blood rushed " - Blood

Reviews

[Vincent Weathers]

This piece is interesting to me. It does look like splattered blood on a blank wall. Parts of the poem repeat, kind of reflect back to the character's "reliving" the experience... the sick, unhuman experience of murder. The repetition of the ideas also contributed to this fact. That's interesting. The second half... seems a little different from the repetition--kind of like a movie's interpretation of someone dying--they experience events over and over again in split seconds before they actually leave.
"....it was way to easy"
I think you will need "too" instead of "to." That would be more accurate.


I never actually heard of "Desert Train"
I'll take a look for that later I suppose.
It's pretty dark. I would definitely say that your opinion is quite accurate here.

[Brett Campaigne]

you really saturate the senses with vehemence.

[Berserker[Diktator Von ..]

You know how I feel about writing..im not a perfectionist writer or reviewer..this was a great piece..a real piece of art..Great Job!..=)

Your Friend Berserk