GUILT

terror, despair

GUILT

 

He rests on a large square rock

as he mourns into his book

often the pages soak with cry

ruptures of nightmares

he longs to be here in his despair

 

He elevates his head

to gaze at ducks swimming in a serene lake

beside the rock which he labels his own

he speaks to them in their wording

ripples on the water

a moment of console

he breathes deep

a quip of a smile

 

He assays to recall the faces of his family

dad with black beard, speckles of gray

tanned skin, gray eyes like worried clouds

straight nose and thin lips

mom with brilliant red hair, quite fair skin, blue eyes like diamonds, short nose, perfect teeth, and a little pointy chin

Sara the picture of mom, but sassy as ever

 

A flash of terror

he escapes unharmed

they perish

straight off he is an orphan

bearing the burden of guilt

 

Author's Note

This is pure fiction...

Reviews

[Soyam]

Your way of storytelling is so perfect ma'am.

: )

[Tina]

That was a good poem , refllective ,kind of sad a sense of loneliness

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Tina, much appreciated!
Best, B

[William Michael Reeves]

Your tales of mystery and terror are like little scripts for horror movies. I've noticed water always has a role in your stories. I love your description of the characters in this one. Good ripples of wordings Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you W. for a great review!
Best, B

[Neville]

.. this is so darn good, it reads like one's personal nightmare and then some .. but with a certain delicious ambiguity that allows one to insert their own conclusion .. 100/100 +

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Neville, much appreciated!!
Best, B

[Neville]

You are indeed, more than merely welcome Betty. Best back at you too .. N

[Ken e Bujold]

this is a riveting poem Betty. Your opening two lines quite simply stopped me in my tracks. read it three times before continuing on, it's that damn good.
I also liked the open ending of the poem, leaving it up to myself as a reader to craft an story around the orphan. accident or foul deed? a mystery to worm into the imagination

ken

[Betty Hermelee]

Wow Ken, a great review, so glad you enjoyed it!
Best, B

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I grappled with the ending
Was it a car accident a shooting a murder
That’s ok I can use imagination that’s why poems that are fiction are good too

I loved the whole poem thanks ! Not all poems have fairytale endings x

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Julie for your clever review; sometimes one likes to leaves things out so the reader can finish the ending in his or her own way, that was the intention…..best to you ( I finished book!) excellent poetry !

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ahh thanks !!

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!
Best, B

[DIVYA]

This is such a powerful, emotionally packed poem. My heart felt punched at the end. I thought of beautiful people and I thought of how unpredictable life and death are. How swiftly a moment turns into a rip and sweeps lives away forever. And how those who are left behind are forever burdened with guilt. Dear Betty, you evoke all these and many more unspoken emotions in the reader, so masterfully here. The scene was so beautifully described and in his grieving I could feel my own sadness. It was all so vivid that I just wanted to reach out to him inside the page and hug him. Kudos!

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Divya
Your review is so full of emotions and notions about life and death and guilt….it’s really better than my poem itself,; I am so lucky to have you as a new poet friend.
Best to you
B.

[Matthew Daalling]

May I ask what is this poem about exactly. I think you are exceptional.

[Betty Hermelee]

It’s about love and war and emotions that drive these two characters…..thank you for reading….
Best B

[Matthew Daalling]

Your very welcome. Your poetry stands out.

[W. Barrett Munn]

The theme you picked was guilt. I read about a poem that was written backwards from the last line of “why do I feel so happy”. Made me wonder where this would have wandered if you had started with your last line.

Winston

[Betty Hermelee]

don't know, but the title gives it away!
Best, B.

[Dave Brown]

I feel guilt in not reviewing this earlier and can only imagine the terrible guilt 'he' must have had!
i wonder, do ducks feel guilt
there I go again and now that much more guilt involved

[Betty Hermelee]

I think ducks feel guilt! why not, they have feelings!
You're welcome Dave
BESTB