Chapter One

I stared at the doctor, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry; can you repeat what you just said?" I questioned, my voice quivering with denial.

"I'm sorry Saber, but you've been diagnosed with leukemia."

As those words came out of the doctor's mouth, I felt as though my life was falling apart. Instead of freaking out like I believed I would, my body stayed frozen stiff. I felt as though a bucket of freezing water was poured over me.

"Thank you doctor, for everything." I monotonously thanked, my eyes hollowed and my voice void of emotions.

Before anyone could stop me I made my way over towards my car, wanting to get away from that hospital as soon as possible. I opened the door to my gray Audi, sitting in the seat and gazing intently forward. Suddenly everything the doctor told me began to finally sink in. The next thing I knew; I'm slamming my fist onto the steering wheel. Tears were pouring out of my eyes and onto my lap.

I felt helpless, afraid and yet not being able to do something. Suddenly my helplessness was turned into boiling hot rage. I did the only thing I could think of; I let out a piercing scream. It was a surprise that my car's windows didn't shatter. After what felt like forever I head home, dreading what is about to come.

I knew there was no way my parents would not find out. I turn off the engine, get out of my car, and head straight for the door. I took in a deep breath and close my eyes before I turned the knob. I open my eyes to feel something smack right into me, almost making us fall over. I look up to see that it was my mother, her face buried into my hair.

My heart broke into pieces; the look my mother gave me killed me. She looked at me with sadness, regret... and pity. Her eyes were puffy and red, signaling she was crying. I remove my gaze from hers to look at my father, only to see the same expression. I knew that they were just sad, suffering because of what happened to me, but in my heart I could not persuade it to feel the right thing, the logical thing. Instead all I feel is the anger rising, boiling underneath my skin, ready to be released. I quickly look away, not trusting myself to not do something I will most likely regret.

"Saber-" My father began.                            

I cut him off before he could finish, "I'm fine! I just want to go to bed, goodnight!" I shouted, rapidly climbing up the stairs.

I shut my door and lock it, not trusting my parents; they'll come in here and bother me, wanting to talk about my... cancer. Again tears began to appear, but I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not allowing any to escape. I wouldn't cry, tears won't do anything at all. They won't stop me from having leukemia. I stare at the ceiling, my mind wandering with questions. Eventually I nodded off to sleep, questions still wondering around my mind.

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I stared at myself in the mirror, feeling hollow inside. I could not do this, I feel as if I'm dying inside. I felt like I was drowning, it was too much; all of it was too much. What was I going to do? Could I really move on and pretend that I wasn't going to die.

I didn't want this, I don't want this. How was I going to let this anger, frustration, and rage out? I wasn't going to tell any of my friends that is for sure. I knew that if I did, I would most likely only hurt them. They would worry and the last thing I needed was for them to walk on eggshells around me.

I just wanted them to treat me normal. If I told them the reason why I didn't tell them, they would promise me that they wouldn't treat me differently, when we all know for a fact that they would. The last thing I need or want is pity. I would never, ever want my friends to pity me, even if they couldn't help it. The only thing I can do to not arouse suspicion is to act as though nothing is wrong, to keep my feelings bottled up.

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"So what exactly is this place?" I questioned, looking around with an eyebrow raised.

"It’s supposed to be a haunted house, silly!" My cheery friend replied, smiling brightly at me.

"Oh really? How come it doesn't look frightening at all?" I questioned.

"Well that’s 'cause it’s um... you!" She exclaimed, her cheeks puffed out in annoyance.

I let out a snort, somehow knowing that that was going to be her answer. She looked at me in confusion not understanding why I did that.

"Why'd you snort?!"

"No reason. Now why is that a haunted house?" I asked, changing the subject.

"'Cause it’s Halloween you dummy." She replied.

I raised an eyebrow. "Halloween? There’s still a few weeks until it’s Halloween."

"Well it's close enough." She defended, peeved that I was correcting her.

I loved my friend, I truly did but she can be so dense at times. She was a petite girl with strawberry-blonde hair and azure-blue colored eyes. She was short but busty for a girl her size. She was also very cheerful; not usually letting anything deter her mood. I've known her since grade school but she wasn't my best friend. My best friend was a girl I've known since preschool, we're really close. My best friend had chocolate colored hair and lime-green eyes. She was a kind and thoughtful girl, who had a motherly hen personality. She was the only one that I knew who was able to read me.

"Saber!"

I look down to see that Natalie--my strawberry-blonde haired friend--was trying to get my attention.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "That if Genie is gonna be able to help us."

"She said she would." Genie is the name of my best friend.

I looked back towards the haunted house, still not seeing on how it’s supposed to be hunted. It was a two story house, a mahogany door at the front. It had a lot of windows surrounding it. It was old and its paint was deterring. It had a creepy vibe to it yes, but it still wasn't creepy enough to be considered scary. At least not to me, I couldn't be sure about others.

"Alright then, make sure she's here Friday. We'll be working on it then!" She shouted.

"Okay, okay. No need to yell." I replied, wincing.

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I went straight home after everything that just occurred. As I remembered everything that just happened, it made a smile bloom onto my face. I was grateful for those friends, they may be too energetic and sometimes annoying, but without them, hiding my emotions would've been harder than I would've liked. It was wrong, I know, but I made my decision and I wasn't going to change my mind.

It’s already been made up and I'm not one of those people who couldn’t even keep a promise. If my friends ever found out what I was thinking I knew they would've been lively.