Fire

Fire

A Poem by Nici

It was evening when I built the fire
Kindled in twilight
Night dragging on a veil of shadows
Before morning rays shone through
Afternoon stretched its course
And with it came evening again
Where a fresh log and heavy exhale
Sprung forth smoldering embers
A Phoenix reignited to life
Flames licking at the cedar

© 2009 Nici


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Very nice. Perhaps changing the title might be a good idea. While it very clearly states what the poem is about, it doesn't draw readers in.

My favorite line was 'Afternoon stretched its course'. Afternoons do go on, and on, especially in the summer.

I like short poems, and this was a very good one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


It has serious visual impact I could see it in my head as I read. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on July 17, 2009

Author

Nici
Nici

Glasgow, United Kingdom



About
Just another girl with secrets behind her eyes. I haven't written in a while-but I'm getting into the habit again. For now I'm just a professional procrastinator. more..

Writing
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