March 25, 2016

She sat several nights staring at her computer with music in her ears, running the scene back through her head.  What she should have done, what she shouldn't have done, and the stupidity of the shambled and awkward mess that was herself. Fearing unknown outcomes and unstable ground as she almost involuntarily takes steps farther into the thickening situation. Repetitively asking herself what the hell was doing as she found herself checking her phone every time she woke at night.

"what have I done to myself this time?" she thinks aloud, shaking her head, sighs, and goes back to typing. She had this horrible habit of spewing her inner thoughts out in poems, and she just knew one of these days it would get her in trouble, but she didn't care as she continued to tack away at her laptop. Spewing and vomiting the words she can't seem to say in person into a posted log containing cries and whines of her mind and heart trying to keep herself from tearing up in the process, and as a hot tear runs down her face she realizes her failure of composure.