Stasis

The cold pain of still feeling like your growing numb.

                                                                                                                               Stasis, I feel so cold an frozen. as if my flesh an bones were turned inside out.         exposing my deepest darkest secrets for all to witness, for all to fear, for all is granted.Breathing my final breaths, I swear i wouldn't cry. But that is far behind now.People ask me what I'm thinking, an i tell them it's complicated.The floor is cold as the water rushes over me, an like a stone i sink. My lungs fill with murder an self destruction. I did this to my self. My mind races to what was an what will be, determination deserves victory. I wilt into the garden of life, rose petals falling around me falling on my eye lids. The laughter of children bring me back to reality. Hold my breath! Panic stricken my level of anxiety rises with the cold chill in my veins Flood lights fill the room of excitement as the below zero water starts to find it's way into my brain. Cold fills my lungs, I kick an squirm trying to fight the water from consuming my body.  I freeze up an go numb, My limbs start to become limp an my mind starts to slowly replay my life. My life end's So i thought. I wake up next to the love of my life, i ask if it was all a dream She tells me it's alright, that it will be okay. Nothing was real. It was all just my mind playing tricks. I stare at the red roses on the end table next to me, the Gown said  it all. She cups my cheek in her hands an asks me to hold on, that she will never leave.