lying life

just a song i wrote in geometry....

something hidden deep inside,
you keep it locked up in your mind.
i see how much it pains you,
know how much it breaks you.

the life you wish to know,
is right outside your window,
yet our too afraid to let it in,
too afraid to breathe life in.

quiet your weeping, oh dear child,
see me right before your eyes,
ill save you from this lying life,
and bring you salvation,i promise you.

your broken heart, your broken life,
show in your tears and scars.
you take the easy way out,
letting your pain seep through your wrists.

quiet your weeping, oh dear child,
see me right before your eyes,
ill save you from this lying life,
and bring you salvation, i promise you

such love,such life,
oh sweet child,
such hate and pain,
realized before your time,
you are loved, forever and always,
i am the way, to your sweet escape.

quiet your weeping, oh dear child.
see me right before your eyes,
ill save you from this lying life,
i am your salvation

Reviews

[Writer *78*]

Well done this could be taken many different ways. Excellent.

[Suavis_Umbra]

very nice poem , though i feel " i am your salvation" , should be more longer, it makes it more integrated in the poem. This is just one aspiring poet's view , so don't take me as an evil critique. Other than that , extraordinary. Umbra

[♪Barklight♪]

really good poem caitlynn, nice one!

[forevermore1218]

very nice song. It reminds me a lot of Paramore's Brick by Boring Brick :) (my fav paramore song) Loved this one. just edit your punctuation and make sure you grammar fits well with your stanzas and this will be absolutely fantastic!

well done mate :)

[Anthony Q Armstrong]

Very, VERY good